Animals

Very serious little boy: I don’t think a moose and a human should kiss.

Library
Chicago Suburbs, Illinois

Girl: I thought dinosaurs were a fairy tale.

Junior High Science Class
El Paso, Texas

Teenage girl on cell: I hung out with that camel.

Eagle, Idaho

Overheard by: Giles

Teacher: So, the koala bears are pretty much high all of the time. They fall off the trees. I have videos!

High School
Londonderry, New Hampshire

Overheard by: humanities student

(grandmother mumbles something unintelligible)
Young girl: Oh my god, grandma! I didn’t want to hear how grandpa was hung like a whale!

Longview, Washington

Overheard by: CaerBear

Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don’t know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.

Druid Hills, Atlanta

Overheard by: Miranda

Teenage girl: Ohmigod, guess what!
Boyfriend: What?
Teenage girl: I just ran over a possum and it humped my car!

Chattanooga, Tennessee

American chick #1: Ohmigod! Look at those white cows! I’ve never seen cows like that before!
American chick #2: Maybe they’re albino… Or it could be a special British type of cow.
Guy sitting behind them: … Those are sheep.

Bus, Southern England

Overheard by: pretends to be Canadian

Five-year-old boy: How old are you?
Tutor: Twenty.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah, well, do you know how to make a monkey?

Dallas, Texas

Woman #1: That’s a wonderful coat.
Woman #2: I hope it stays cold long enough for me to enjoy it.
Woman #1: You know, you’re really brave. I have a fur at home but I can’t stop thinking about those crazy PETA people chasing me down with a van and hurting me.

Sidewalk in front of Grocery Store
Maryland