Man: Man, I’d like to have been around when Jesus put all them dinosaurs here. I figure that woulda been pretty cool.
Friend: Yeah, that woulda been cool.

Canyonlands National Park
Moab, Utah

Overheard by: Iain

Girl #1: Whatever happened to that bird?
Guy: Which one? The original?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Guy: It’s in Professor Long’s* lab. I put it in a bag and squeezed the air out, so it shouldn’t be rotting too much.
Girl #2: It’s going to smell so bad when you open it.
Guy: No, it won’t…
Girl #2: Uh, yeah it will. You’d better open it up, drop it, and run away for a few hours.
Guy: Oh, come on, for Christ’s sake! After I removed the scent glands from a skunk with my bare hands and sawed its head off, what could be worse?!

Overheard by: kinda creeped out

Harried mom pushing stroller and toting three minions: Do you wanna see the llamas? We’re gonna see the llamas! Don’t you wanna see the llamas?!

Official: What experience do you have?
Job-seeker: I worked for 30 years on a poultry farm killing chickens.
Official: Have you done anything else?
Job-seeker: I killed turkeys.

Overheard by: o.b.

Student: Man! Question number four on that exam? The one about chickens was so hard… It took me forever.
Teacher: Well, it seemed tricky, but the problem was really pretty straightforward. It just involved birds instead of mammals.
Student: … Chickens are birds?

Bloomington, Indiana

Builder to another during break: Mate, I tell you — that fish was happy.


White dreadlocked hippie: … And I was totally like, [punches fist into air] ‘Thank you, Grandfather Salmon! That was awesome!’

St. Lawrence Market
Toronto, Ontario

Teen girl exiting train: Bye! I’ll call you after I drug the cat!

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Girl walking through campus: And that's why you can't put a cat in the microwave.

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?

Great Escape Theater

Overheard by: The Surly Usher