Philosophy

Guy #1: My lady friend is telling me that I’m never going to get any until I have a nice, big bed at home.
Guy #2: There might be something to that. I read this book called If the Buddha Dated, and I think it talked about us first needing a spiritual nest or something like that.
Guy #1: What? So now I’m supposed to believe in quantum pussy?

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/qp-theory.html

Overheard by: rich

Fat guy wearing velour muumuu top: I don’t have a wife or kids to support, so I don’t feel a burning need to earn an income. I can focus on what feels healthy, what makes me happy… Like dancing.

Coffee shop
Portland, Oregon

Teen on cell: It doesn’t matter! Two pairs of underwear does not equal one pair of pants!

Michigan State University
Lansing, Michigan

Professor: I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing worse than eating a baby.

Community college
North Carolina

Overheard by: First row fanboy

Extremely drunk man: You know, I don’t think prime numbers are going to introduce us to aliens… But I think Chuck Berry will.

The Old Hole
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: E

Tween boy: Yeah! Yeah! I get what you’re saying! Every age group has something to look forward to. 16-year-olds want to drive, 21-year-olds want to drink, people in their 30s want kids, and you, Grandma — you want to die.
Older sister: Uh… I don’t think that was quite the point…

Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Stuckinthecity

Park ranger on horseback to another: We have to stay inside the perimeter or else… [thoughtful pause]… we will be outside the perimeter.

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: three amigas

Undergrad #1: Man, it would suck if you died by drowning in molasses.
Undergrad #2: Well, better than being raped.
Undergrad #1: True. Well, unless you were diabetic. Then the molasses would be, like, raping you.

Harvard research lab
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: random person

Preppy chick: I’ve never seen her pee in a bush or even fart or anything. It’s like I only know her on one level, you know?

Harvard Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Random girl in hallway: If you have a stuffy nose and are in an elevator with someone who just farted, but you don't know they did, does it still smell bad?

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Jen