Professor: I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing worse than eating a baby.

Community college
North Carolina

Overheard by: First row fanboy

Extremely drunk man: You know, I don’t think prime numbers are going to introduce us to aliens… But I think Chuck Berry will.

The Old Hole
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: E

Tween boy: Yeah! Yeah! I get what you’re saying! Every age group has something to look forward to. 16-year-olds want to drive, 21-year-olds want to drink, people in their 30s want kids, and you, Grandma — you want to die.
Older sister: Uh… I don’t think that was quite the point…

Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Stuckinthecity

Park ranger on horseback to another: We have to stay inside the perimeter or else… [thoughtful pause]… we will be outside the perimeter.

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: three amigas

Undergrad #1: Man, it would suck if you died by drowning in molasses.
Undergrad #2: Well, better than being raped.
Undergrad #1: True. Well, unless you were diabetic. Then the molasses would be, like, raping you.

Harvard research lab
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: random person

Preppy chick: I’ve never seen her pee in a bush or even fart or anything. It’s like I only know her on one level, you know?

Harvard Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Random girl in hallway: If you have a stuffy nose and are in an elevator with someone who just farted, but you don't know they did, does it still smell bad?

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Jen

Student: Isn't all truth metaphysical by this standard?
Law professor: Are you stoned?

UC Hastings
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Loving this

Woman, discussing Star Trek: It's like, I don't give a crap about the stupid Falcon death trap.


Overheard by: MoMo

Seven-year-old boy: Just because he’s a kid doesn’t mean he should not have to moisturize his hair.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: sandy