Burly dude: No, seriously, the thing about anal is it’s warmer, tighter, and you hardly ever get shit on your dick!

High school cafeteria
Lawrenceville, Georgia

Overheard by: we were scared for his tiny girlfriend

Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Richmond, Virginia

Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!

Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma

Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I've never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Dude: I think I’ll take the bean bag over the butt sex.

Young bearded hipster to college girl: They keep telling me anal bleaching is the way to go, but do girls really notice that stuff?

Manhattan, New York

Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!

Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: keller-wish i’d gotten there fifteen seconds earlier

Mover and shaker: I went to a military academy, I know about anal sex. I went to a military academy.

Austin, Texas

College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?

Fulton, Missouri

Overheard by: The Sweetheart

Young woman: He was really sweet about the butt sex… If it’s possible to be sweet about butt sex.

Windermere, Florida

Overheard by: I think that’s entirely possible…