Bouncer: I don’t know… Do you have another piece of ID on you?
Blonde: No, but go ahead, ask me anything!
Bouncer: Why don’t your shoes match your skirt?

London, Ontario

Meathead to another: Dude, are you in a relationship? ‘Cause if you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have to call her ever. Do you hear me? Ever!

Ellensburg, Washington