Girl: T9 is responsible for so many mishaps. Once I tried to text someone “thanks for helping me”. Instead I typed “thanks for humping me.” It was bad!

Tacoma, Washington

Professor: And these cultural anthropologists have discovered many different aspects of law in the countries they live in that differ to ours.
Older student: Did you know that you can’t own pygmies?

The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: Katie

Overly friendly man on bus: It’s like, for example, do you know how many seasons there are in a year?
Woman: Tweleve.
Overly friendly man: Well, actually there are four seasons, four seasons in a year, I guess…
Woman: Well, I’m not from here, I’m from Montana.

Seattle, Washington

Girl on bus: I’ve been trying to quit drinking and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gallon of vodka, and I’m all, “bitch, what you doing?”

Seattle, Washington

Teen girl: Have you noticed that he’s getting gayer by the minute? I swear he’s getting gayer and gayer – and his eyebrows are getting smaller and smaller.
Teen guy: Ah, yes. The all too telling gay‐to‐eyebrow ratio…

Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: ninita

Girl #1: I’m having the worst day today.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s a good thing I had sex yesterday. Otherwise, today would just be hell.

Seattle, Washington

Married man at party: They went after my nipples!


Overheard by: Salazar

Young gay man: Whereas, lacking the virtue of shoes, men must content themselves with being jerks.
Female friend: A poor consolation, and unfashionable.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Bethany

Teenage ghetto boy: That’d be great, man, if everyone died … They’d be gone, and we could take all their cars!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Little girl trying on boots: Mom, can I get them?
Mom: Yes, but you have to take them off.
Little girl: Will you help me?
Mom: No, if you don’t know how to take your own shoes off by now, I’ve done something very wrong.
Little girl, in low voice, taking boots off: …you have.

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Rachel