Washington

Woman reading newspaper: I can’t believe how illiterate kids are these days. It says here that when they were asked who Joan of Arc was, many of them said she was Noah’s wife.
Girl: Who was she, Grandma?
Woman: She was the woman who grew her hair long and rode a horse naked.

Port Townsend, Washington

Party-goer: She is the only person I know who has a favorite appliance!

Moroccan restaurant
Seattle, Washington

16-year-old male in office waiting room, to friend: You can't just solve all your problems by causing a nuclear holocaust, man!

Whatcom Community College
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: littlegirlmonkey

Lady to friends: So, have you been to see the cadavers yet?

Restaurant Zoe
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth

Girl: T9 is responsible for so many mishaps. Once I tried to text someone “thanks for helping me”. Instead I typed “thanks for humping me.” It was bad!

Tacoma, Washington

Professor: And these cultural anthropologists have discovered many different aspects of law in the countries they live in that differ to ours.
(pause)
Older student: Did you know that you can't own pygmies?

The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: Katie

Overly friendly man on bus: It's like, for example, do you know how many seasons there are in a year?
Woman: Tweleve.
Overly friendly man: Well, actually there are four seasons, four seasons in a year, I guess…
Woman: Well, I'm not from here, I'm from Montana.

Seattle, Washington

Girl on bus: I've been trying to quit drinking and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gallon of vodka, and I'm all, “bitch, what you doing?”

Seattle, Washington

Teen girl: Have you noticed that he's getting gayer by the minute? I swear he's getting gayer and gayer–and his eyebrows are getting smaller and smaller.
Teen guy: Ah, yes. The all too telling gay-to-eyebrow ratio…

Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: ninita

Girl #1: I'm having the worst day today.
Girl #2: Yeah, it's a good thing I had sex yesterday. Otherwise, today would just be hell.

Seattle, Washington