Train conductor: Thank you for traveling on this 3:30 service to Southern Cross. If you need to use the toilet, they are located at the end of each carriage for your convenience. Please remember to both close and lock the door, which will save you from embarrassment and other passengers from blindness.
Train Service to Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Meg
Teacher: I’m leaving for a few minutes. Ted*, you’re in charge.
Ted*: Alright, everyone get naked.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Skanky girl walking down hall to friends: She told me to put my cigarette out… I put it in my bra.
Asher Alternative High School
Detroit, Michigan
Customer (ordering a birthday cake for his wife): Can you put “You’re better lookin’ than your twin sister” on it?
Alpine Bakery
Concord, California
Woman on cell: Okay. Well, do you want the blowjob first or do you want to study first?
Nashville, Tennessee
Nanny (in thick Irish accent): Get over here right now!
(little girl does not move)
Nanny: Jesus sees you!
(little girl still not moving)
Nanny: Santa sees you, and you’ll get nothing!
(little girl runs to nanny)
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Charles
Girl, entering bathroom stall: Please don’t judge me!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis… penis… penis…
Ginza
Tokyo
Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
Mother to quietly weeping child: Can’t you just… be happy?
Target Parking Lot
Cumming, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Goth chick: Don’t talk to me about the year 2012. The year 2012 is seriously pissing me off.
Otaku chick: Try to stick around for 2013 anyway. Just trust me on this one.
University Plaza
Colorado State
