Insults

Girl #1: I don’t really like Kate.
Girl #2: Watch what you say about her — she’s my best friend!
Girl #1: Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize.
Girl #2: Yeah, we’re really close… Except for when she’s being a self-centered bitch.

University of Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: That’s what I call loyalty

Crazy hobo: You have pretty hair, unlike mine. My hair is ugly. You’re ugly, too. [Chick stares.] I gotta go steal some DVDs now. Bye, ladies!

Downtown Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: At least he was honest

Mom, looking at pot belly hog: Look, this pig is so fat and lazy that it just lays there all day.
Chubby tween son: Yeah, just like me.
Mom, laughing nervously and glancing around: Come on, honey, don’t say that. You’re nothing like it.
Chubby tween son: Yes, I am, Mom. I’m serious. Don’t you see? It’s like looking in the mirror.

Donaldson Park Petting Zoo
Highland Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: beginning to see the resemblance

Son: I just don’t understand it.
Father: That’s because you have no imagination.

Foothills Mall
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Tempus

Guy: What a shitty day. My girlfriend told me I was ‘needy, at best.’

Montreal metro
Canadia

Overheard by: Marie Elaine

Guy: Amanda, you know how I always say people are dumb?
Amanda: [Blank stare.]Guy: You are totally ‘people.’

Columbus, Ohio

Hobo: Hello, little girl.
Four-year-old girl: I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.
Hobo: Well, your vagina smells like vomit! [Mother gasps.]

Amherst, Massachusetts

Freshman girl to gaggle: Why is my mom such a whore?! Nuns are sluts.

Rochester Institute of Technology
Rochester, New York

Girl #1: I know her. She’s a skank.
Mother: Really?
Girl #2: Yeah. You can smell the hooker coming off of her.

Cambridge, Ohio

Girl running for bus: Thank you!
Bus driver: Wait at the right stop.
Girl: Lose some weight.
Bus driver: Get off my bus.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: talks before she thinks