Woman: Are these sandals man-made?
Clerk: The materials?
Woman: No, are these sandals man-made? Like, are they organic?

Girl: Hey, Chantelle*! Chantelle!
Chantelle: What?
Girl: Did you bring skank boots?
Chantelle: Yeah.

Drama class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Little boy, about American tourist chick: Look, Daddy! She’s got big boots on… Like a man!


Girl #1: Did you hear John* is thinking about getting a new tattoo?
Girl #2: Yeah? What's it gonna be?
Girl #1: He wants to get a kangaroo wearing gumboots, with a shovel over its shoulder. How classy is that?


Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don't want to sweat in the shoe. That'll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I'm going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man

Drunk guy to group of teens: If you're on the moon and you ain't got no shoes, man, you're outta luck.

Rye, New York

Overheard by: Grizzzly

Guy: Didn’t you have a friend who lost her virginity to her shoe?
Green haired girl: Yeah. She fell on her foot and ruptured it or something. Like riding a horse.
Pink haired girl: What the fuck?
Guy: Told you!
Green haired girl: I felt bad when she told us because I was the only one busting up laughing.


Preschool teacher #1: I wouldn't want to spill coffee on those shoes.
Preschool teacher #2: Why not?
Preschool teacher #1: Because they'd get coffee stains on them.

Rumson, New Jersey

Lady walking out of an alley to man: I can't do it now, I'd have to take my shoes off and I'm not wearing any underwear.

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Ambroziak

Hoochie: I understand that you’re worried about me, but I have self-control.
Friend: Do you?
Hoochie: Buying a pair of shoes is different from fucking someone.

Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York