Overheard in California’s Journal

Woman: Are these sandals man-made?
Clerk: The materials?
Woman: No, are these sandals man-made? Like, are they organic?


Harried mom pushing stroller and toting three minions: Do you wanna see the llamas? We’re gonna see the llamas! Don’t you wanna see the llamas?!


Hubby: Man, when I trim my ass hair my farts sound weird!


Woman: You can’t lay a guilt trip on me! I was raised Catholic!


Wife of fat guy: Y’know, honey, I heard on Oprah that every 35 pounds you lose, you gain an inch in penis length.
Fat guy: I know I could stand to lose 70 pounds, but what am I gonna do with a 22-inch dick?


Male coworker: So, wassup?! You holding down the third trimester? You got that thang on lock?!
Preggers coworker: Hell yeah!

Oakland, California