Chick: I just don’t want any commitments right now.
Dude: Can we still be fuck-buddies?
Caribou Coffee
Mendota Heights, Minnesota
Chick: I just don’t want any commitments right now.
Dude: Can we still be fuck-buddies?
Caribou Coffee
Mendota Heights, Minnesota
Girl, almost running into parking meter: Whoops.
Guy: Holy crap! Did you really just do that?
Girl: Shut up. [Guy gradually edges her off to the side.] … Are you trying to make me actually run into one?! [Guy laughs.] Ughhh, I am so withholding sex.
Guy: Wait, wait! I didn’t mean it!
Church Street and 7th Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: pedestrian
Man: I feel it more in my shoulders than in my colon.
Woman: I don’t feel it in my colon either!
http://overheardinjxn.blogspot.com/2005/12/man-i-feel-it-more-in-my-shoulders.html
Guy to girlfriend: I wasn’t rooting for you. I was rooting for the hyenas.
Monterey, California
Overheard by: me too
Black guy kissing his girlfriend, looking into her eyes: Mmm… Your vagina’s so juicy.
Leaning on a school bus
Alabama
Overheard by: Joe
Annoying girl: Are you ignoring me? Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike.
Mike, apparently: God, I wish chivalry was dead.
Annoying girl: What’s chivalry?
Mike: It’s what’s keeping me from smashing your head open with my cock.
Diner
Washington, DC
Boyfriend: You know what happens when you get between me and something I want, right?
Girlfriend, on his lap: I go in the hole?
Boyfriend, puzzled: No… I… I move you out of the way…
Westfield State College
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: It was a brownie he wanted
Woman: Did you hear about the lawyer in England who wouldn’t take a Muslim woman as a client because she wore a burkha and the lawyer said she couldn’t hear her?! [Holds piece of paper over her mouth] Hello! You can still hear me, right?
Boyfriend: Yeah.
Woman: I can’t believe this! They have that happen, but when a kid dressed up as a pirate and the school kicked him out he said he was a Pastafarian and they let him back in.
Boyfriend: Pastafarian?
Woman: You know, flying spaghetti monster as God, pirates are sacred…
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah.
Starbucks
League City, Texas
Overheard by: JustWantsCoffee
Woman to boyfriend: Get back here so I can take a picture of you lying to me!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Trying not to spit soda from my nose
Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!
Richmond, Virginia
