Hair

Woman #1: My boss shaves his legs.
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: His legs, his back, his chest, everything. All guys do it now.
Woman #2: That's so weird. My son asked me to wax his chest because he said girls don't like hairy chests.
Woman #1: How much hair could a 14-year-old have?
Woman #2: Actually, a lot.
Woman #1: He's going to be really hairy when he's older.
Woman #2: Fortunately not on his back yet. So anyway–don't tell anybody I told you this. You're sworn to secrecy–I told him I wouldn't wax him, but I went out and bought some Nair and put it on him, and it worked. But the next morning, he was in such pain–his chest was all inflamed. He said he would never do it again.

Women's Gym
Studio City, California

Overheard by: I always eavesdrop on these two

Girl: I will pull my pants up and show you I am not hairy!

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Two-year-old girl: Mommy! You have hair on your vagina!

Restroom
Washington, DC

Geek #1: But I’m a semi-Mac user! I can’t have a beard and be a Mac user!
Geek #2: Yeah, I know what you mean…

Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Beardless Mac User

Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: “Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children.” I would do it if I didn’t have hairy nipples.

Library
Plano, Texas

Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That’s it? Just “yep”?
Husband: Looks very different. It’ll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Freshman #1: So… where is he from?
Freshman #2: He’s from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.

Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate

Man #1: So she looks up at me with this, look, right? And she grips my dick real hard and then gets this terrified look as she picks it off on my pubes…
Man #2: Oh, dude, I’m gonna vomit.
Man #1: It was a fucking dingleberry. And it wasn’t mine, dude.

Gym
Oregon

Brunette girl: Well, they were blondes, but they were natural blondes, so not like, hot blondes.

Melbourne
Australia

Girl on phone: Hey, honey, good news — I can get you your hair back.

Fortitude Valley
Brisbane
Australia