Geek #1: But I’m a semi-Mac user! I can’t have a beard and be a Mac user!
Geek #2: Yeah, I know what you mean…
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Beardless Mac User
Geek #1: But I’m a semi-Mac user! I can’t have a beard and be a Mac user!
Geek #2: Yeah, I know what you mean…
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Beardless Mac User
Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: “Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children.” I would do it if I didn’t have hairy nipples.
Library
Plano, Texas
Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That’s it? Just “yep”?
Husband: Looks very different. It’ll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Freshman #1: So… where is he from?
Freshman #2: He’s from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.
Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate
Man #1: So she looks up at me with this, look, right? And she grips my dick real hard and then gets this terrified look as she picks it off on my pubes…
Man #2: Oh, dude, I’m gonna vomit.
Man #1: It was a fucking dingleberry. And it wasn’t mine, dude.
Gym
Oregon
Brunette girl: Well, they were blondes, but they were natural blondes, so not like, hot blondes.
Melbourne
Australia
Girl on phone: Hey, honey, good news — I can get you your hair back.
Fortitude Valley
Brisbane
Australia
Old teacher, petting student’s hair: Your hair is so pretty. When you graduate, you should donate it to the blind.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shakananananawanda
Mom #1: Well, you are blonde, you know!
Mom #2: Yeah, well, I’m not blonde everywhere!
Mom #1: Well, I don’t know how that works…
Panera Bread
Norman, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Freelance Mama
Girl: I hate faux-hawks. I can’t believe they’re coming back in style. They’re the worst hairstyle ever.
Mother: I think mullets are the worst hairstyle ever.
Girl: At least mullets are honest!
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: J
