Paralytically drunk trainee Russian orthodox priest, lying on pool table, smoking a joint: Fuck! I’ve got to get to church in two hours…

Leamington Spa

Overheard by: Bleep

Girl #1: I’m Jewish.
Girl #2: I’m Catholic.
Girl #3: I’m Christian.
Girl #2: What kind of Christian?
Girl #3: Plain. Plain Christian.

Freedom Center
Manassas, Virginia

Overheard by: Amused Counselor

Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

20‐something girl on cell: I had the malpractice ball this last weekend. It was in the Weisman Museum… kind of lame, not a lot of space. (pause) But I didn’t bring a flask this year, so it was a little conservative, definitely a limited amount of alcohol. (pause) Are you going home for Passover? (pause) Oh my, are you converting? (pause) Yeah, I want to know what this whole Jerry Springer photo thing is all about.

Overheard by: burrhead

Lady to man putting bagels in a bag: Are you getting those because you are Jewish?

Whole Foods
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: jigawhat

Fashionista student: So is he like, Christian gay from project runway?
Oblivious teacher: No, he’s like Jewish gay.

American University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: I’m Jewish

Female suit #1: She’s just sad and lonely.
Female suit #2: That’s no excuse for Mormonism.

Santa Barbara, California

Boy eating lunch: I am without sin! That’s why potatoes come down my chimney!


Overheard by: Anthony Mercer

Casual guy: It’s amazing how chummy they are now.
Guy in suit: Chummy? They’re like having weird gay‐slash‐Jewish sex.

Thornton School of Music, USC
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Yapplebee

Chick #1: Mike Dunleavy went to a Catholic school, and Troy Murphy went to a Jesuit school.
Chick #2: They’re star‐crossed lovers! One is a Catholic, the other a Jesuit!

Pepsi Center
Denver, Colorado