Cashier (handing over receipt): Would you like this?
Customer: No, they make babies in my purse…
David’s Supermarket
Whitney, Texas
Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I’m not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren’t you afraid your baby’s going to fall out or something?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/275491256/thats-why-she-carries-glad-bags.html
Overheard by: what not to expect when you’re expecting
College girl #1: If I’m pregnant, the father is either him or his cousin.
College girl #2: Wait, you slept with David* and his cousin?
College girl #1: It wasn’t a big deal, it was a threesome!
Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jennifer
Chick: Do I look pregnant in this dress?
Boyfriend: Nah, I told you. It just looks like something a pregnant person would wear.
Lakeline Mall
Austin, Texas
Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: “Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children.” I would do it if I didn’t have hairy nipples.
Library
Plano, Texas
Girl #1: This dress makes me look like a pregnant woman with small boobs.
Girl #2: Pregnant women can’t have small boobs. That’s like impossible. It’s, like, natural selection or something.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca
Planned parenthood speaker: I’m here to talk to you about birth control.
Chick, ecstatic: This really is the best Christmas ever!
High School Assembly
Englewood, Colorado
20-something hipster girl to another: So, anyway, no one is pregnant.
Sorella’s Diner
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
English professor: Just think of all the eggs that are wasted every time a woman doesn’t get pregnant… That’s what I do.
Montevallo, Alabama
Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.
Mackinac Island, Michigan
Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson
