Shopkeeper: How’s your wife? Did they take her in to have the baby yet?
Shopper: Yeah, they took her in this morning to be seduced.

Northern Ireland

Overheard by: limeinside

Woman: Are these sandals man-made?
Clerk: The materials?
Woman: No, are these sandals man-made? Like, are they organic?

Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: … A car.


Overheard by: Chey

Park ranger on horseback to another: We have to stay inside the perimeter or else… [thoughtful pause]… we will be outside the perimeter.

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: three amigas

20-ish girl: So, I was thinking of ‘Liberty and Justice for Balls.’
20-ish guy: Liberty and justice for balls?
20-ish girl: Yeah, I was trying to think of a paper title.

Overheard by: um, what?

Dude: What are some words that rhyme with ‘chicken’?
Chick: Frickin’, lickin’, hair.
Dude: ‘Hair’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘chicken’!
Chick: Yeah, it does — chicken, hair; chicken, hair.
Dude: Yeah, I guess it kind of does.

Metro bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Dude #1: I pulled a muscle.
Dude #2, after short pause: How?
Dude #1: Have you ever tried to fuck yourself? It’s really hard! I did and pulled a muscle.

Hampden Academy

Overheard by: Last final

Bimbette, pointing to Che Guevara t-shirt: Jose Cuervo!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: SP

Excited blonde: Guess what I’m getting myself for a Valentine’s Day present? I’m getting tested for STDs!

Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: not surprised

Big dude on phone: Yeah, I am feeling better… I woke up at four a.m. this morning, but it’s okay — I’m taking that euthanasia stuff and it seems to be helping.

Tram, Victoria Street
Melbourne, Victoria

Overheard by: Louise