At the Unnatural Childbirth Olympics

Shopkeeper: How’s your wife? Did they take her in to have the baby yet?
Shopper: Yeah, they took her in this morning to be seduced.

Bangor
Northern Ireland

Overheard by: limeinside

Posted on November 20, 2023
Idiots, Ireland, Words

They’re Made of Kiln-Fired Yak Dung with Sisal Straps

Woman: Are these sandals man-made?
Clerk: The materials?
Woman: No, are these sandals man-made? Like, are they organic?

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardincali/26668.html

Posted on October 22, 2023
Idiots, Overheard in California's Journal, Shoes

Okay, So There’s No Neurological Damage

Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: … A car.

Delaware

Overheard by: Chey

Posted on October 8, 2023
Delaware, Gossip, Idiots

And I Forgot to Bring Breadcrumbs

Park ranger on horseback to another: We have to stay inside the perimeter or else… [thoughtful pause]… we will be outside the perimeter.

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: three amigas

Posted on September 5, 2023
Idiots, Philosophy, Washington, DC

Yeah — Titles Are Hard

20-ish girl: So, I was thinking of ‘Liberty and Justice for Balls.’
20-ish guy: Liberty and justice for balls?
20-ish girl: Yeah, I was trying to think of a paper title.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/he_can_probably_help.html

Overheard by: um, what?

Posted on August 28, 2023
Education, Idiots, Overheard in Minneapolis

Smart and Beautiful — I’m a Lucky Man

Dude: What are some words that rhyme with ‘chicken’?
Chick: Frickin’, lickin’, hair.
Dude: ‘Hair’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘chicken’!
Chick: Yeah, it does — chicken, hair; chicken, hair.
Dude: Yeah, I guess it kind of does.

Metro bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on August 12, 2023
Idiots, Minnesota, Words

But I Did Get a Call-Back for Cirque du Soleil

Dude #1: I pulled a muscle.
Dude #2, after short pause: How?
Dude #1: Have you ever tried to fuck yourself? It’s really hard! I did and pulled a muscle.

Hampden Academy
Maine

Overheard by: Last final

Posted on August 9, 2023
Getting off, Idiots, Maine

If You’re Gonna Be Wrong, at Least Go Top-Shelf

Bimbette, pointing to Che Guevara t-shirt: Jose Cuervo!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: SP

Posted on July 13, 2023
Bimbettes, Clothing, Default, Girls, History, Idiots, Massachusetts, Stupidity, Women

Card: I Fear You’ve Been a Careless Quiff/ Valentine, You’ve Got the Syph!

Excited blonde: Guess what I’m getting myself for a Valentine’s Day present? I’m getting tested for STDs!

Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: not surprised

Posted on July 9, 2023
Colleges & Universities, Default, Health & Hygiene, Holidays, Idiots, Michigan, STDs, Students

I Can’t Understand Why It’s Illegal!

Big dude on phone: Yeah, I am feeling better… I woke up at four a.m. this morning, but it’s okay — I’m taking that euthanasia stuff and it seems to be helping.

Tram, Victoria Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia

Overheard by: Louise

Posted on June 11, 2023
Australia, Idiots, On the phone, Words

Idiots