Old nag, as train breaks down: Why’d we stop? What’s wrong?
Fellow commuter: We hit a buffalo.
Old nag: Really?!
Fellow commuter: Yes.

Worcester/Framingham Line to Boston, Massachusetts

Man: Man, I’d like to have been around when Jesus put all them dinosaurs here. I figure that woulda been pretty cool.
Friend: Yeah, that woulda been cool.

Canyonlands National Park
Moab, Utah

Overheard by: Iain

Shopkeeper: How’s your wife? Did they take her in to have the baby yet?
Shopper: Yeah, they took her in this morning to be seduced.

Northern Ireland

Overheard by: limeinside

Woman: Are these sandals man-made?
Clerk: The materials?
Woman: No, are these sandals man-made? Like, are they organic?

Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: … A car.


Overheard by: Chey

Park ranger on horseback to another: We have to stay inside the perimeter or else… [thoughtful pause]… we will be outside the perimeter.

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: three amigas

20-ish girl: So, I was thinking of ‘Liberty and Justice for Balls.’
20-ish guy: Liberty and justice for balls?
20-ish girl: Yeah, I was trying to think of a paper title.

Overheard by: um, what?

Dude: What are some words that rhyme with ‘chicken’?
Chick: Frickin’, lickin’, hair.
Dude: ‘Hair’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘chicken’!
Chick: Yeah, it does — chicken, hair; chicken, hair.
Dude: Yeah, I guess it kind of does.

Metro bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Dude #1: I pulled a muscle.
Dude #2, after short pause: How?
Dude #1: Have you ever tried to fuck yourself? It’s really hard! I did and pulled a muscle.

Hampden Academy

Overheard by: Last final

Bimbette, pointing to Che Guevara t-shirt: Jose Cuervo!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: SP