Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald’s. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.
McDonald’s
Belo Horizonte
Brazil
Coworker #1: I don’t even know what on a penis you would even pierce.
Coworker #2: I don’t, either. Let me text my brother-in-law and ask him. Maybe I can get him to send us a picture of his.
Eye clinic
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: also interested
Quartet member #1: … And now for some delicious candy from my stalker!
Quartet member #2: I love her! She’s so sweet!
Musicians’ lounge, Kohl Mansion
California
Chef #1: So, were you on the old devil’s dandruff over the weekend? The old Colombian marching powder? [Chef #2 stares blankly and silently.] Is that a yes?
Belfast City Centre
United Kingdom
Worker, about Administrative Professionals’ Day: We don’t have administrative professionals here… Just computers.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/04/if-only-hallmark-made-card-that-said-i.html
Worker #1, to guy checking watch repeatedly: God! You’re such a spaz!
Worker #2: I’m a spaz? You’re the one who has to sort your rubber bands by color, size, and shape.
Worker #1: Shape? Rubber bands only come in one shape!
Worker #2: Well, you sort the broken and unbroken ones.
Worker #1: … Broken isn’t a shape.
Monsanto break room
Waterman, Illinois
Sleazy white employee: Yeah, man, black girls know how to work it.
Black employee: Uh-huh.
Sleazy white employee, whispering: Yo, man, I was doin’ one one time, though, and I was about to go on her chest and she was like, ‘Nuh-uh,’ and pointed it at me and it went on my chest!
EB Games
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: works downstairs
Engineer #1: What’s the deal with you and your two friends? What do you need two for?
Engineer #2: Hey! I like my friends! Both of them.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html
Overheard by: charlie
Dutch employee: Well, I don’t like your American style and I don’t like your American way, and I don’t want to speak English anymore [walks off].
American chick, to colleagues: Keep that bitch away from me or she’s dead.
Major bank
Amsterdam
Netherlands
