Candy

In High School I Got So Depressed, I Dated Girls

Queer #1: You have so many ringtones!
Queer #2: Yeah, when I get depressed I buy ringtones. It's my thing!
Queer #1: When I get depressed I but chocolate and underwear.
Queer #2: Holla!
(they high five)

West Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Big Al

Posted on March 15, 2009
California, Candy, Cell phones, Clothes, Default, Feelings, Guys, Queers

Like All Neoconservatives Do

Obnoxious student in scarf: He was chewing the umbilical cord like licorice.

UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California

Posted on February 21, 2009
Body parts, California, Candy, Colleges & Universities, Default, Students, Weirdness

Then I'm Getting a Bathing Suit With a Skirt

Five-year-old boy sitting in a shopping cart: Gi-ant vul-va! Gi-ant vul-va!
Mommy: Here's a chocolate truffle.

Whole Foods
Santa Monica, California

Posted on January 6, 2009
Body parts, California, Candy, Default, Guys, Kids, Moms

Spoken Like a Guy Who's Never Gotten Wake-Up Head

Psych professor: Yeah… Snickers bars… top of the list. Best things you can put in your mouth without asking permission.

Harvard Psychology Lecture
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I prefer Kit-Kats

Posted on August 21, 2008
Advice, Candy, Colleges & Universities, Default, Massachusetts, Teachers