Stoner #1: Hey, have you seen Jim* lately?
Stoner #2: No, man, I don't hang out with him no more.
Stoner #3: Why not?
Stoner #2: He kept stealing my Skittles!
Public Library
Eugene, Oregon
Stoner #1: Hey, have you seen Jim* lately?
Stoner #2: No, man, I don't hang out with him no more.
Stoner #3: Why not?
Stoner #2: He kept stealing my Skittles!
Public Library
Eugene, Oregon
Teenage boy: Hey, James, don't you remember when you stuck Smarties down your shirt and rubbed them on your nipples?
On the Bus
Canadia
Overheard by: Kels
Little boy, gleefully wiping chocolate on his father's white pants: I'm wiping your butt! Haha! I'm wiping your butt!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Girl on cell: I have midterms! I don't have time to go to the fat lady with the lollipop! (pause) Buh-bye.
Roosevelt University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: morgz
Angry male: You don't have a couch! Where are the boyfriends and husbands supposed to think?
Tiny shop assistant #1: I really don't know.
Tiny shop assistant #2: Well, we don't have a couch. But we do have Skittles!
Angry male: That will suffice.
Supre Store
Australia
Mom: He'll have chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and gummy bears.
Five-year-old son: But I want the blue ice cream!
Mom: Honey, the blue is cotton candy ice cream. You can't have it…it's pure sugar.
Coldstone Creamery
Carlsbad, California
Overheard by: Amused Employee
Goober: I wish the whole world was edible!
Pseudo-metalhead: Dude, then everything would be, like, sticky and gross.
Goober: Well, that's assuming everything would be like candy. It wouldn't have to be sticky and gross.
Professor: I'm gonna jump in here before it gets any weirder.
Bard College
New York
Overheard by: why i put up with philosophy
Little boy at ice cream parlor: Uh…can I have um, little gummy bears?
Impatient dad: Oh, that's great. You invented something the store doesn't have.
Westchester, New York
Overheard by: Griffin
Queer #1: You have so many ringtones!
Queer #2: Yeah, when I get depressed I buy ringtones. It's my thing!
Queer #1: When I get depressed I but chocolate and underwear.
Queer #2: Holla!
(they high five)
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Big Al
Obnoxious student in scarf: He was chewing the umbilical cord like licorice.
UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
