Man on cell: Hey man! Sorry I couldn't make it, I've got tons of widows waiting on me!
Eccles Tennis center
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Brittni
Man on cell: Hey man! Sorry I couldn't make it, I've got tons of widows waiting on me!
Eccles Tennis center
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Brittni
(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but…
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh… (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We're talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You're so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you'd never think about shoes again.
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Julia M
Guy on phone: Does she move when you have sex with her? Maybe that's the problem.
University Park, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Bill
Girl to friend: Well, I woke up naked, again, with a quesadilla in my bed, again, so I say it was a pretty average night.
Eclipse de Sol Restaurant
Atlanta, Georgia
Dude: Just because you masturbate to llama/turtle porn…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Suit to other: Then he kept trying to sell me this little boy for a dollar…
Taco Bell
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Brandon
Guy on cell: I told you… the orange ones are hermaphroditic and the purple ones are sterile.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: piruqsiviliriji
Very serious little boy: I don’t think a moose and a human should kiss.
Library
Chicago Suburbs, Illinois
Chick #1: The problem with buying a house seized by the police? Someone could have been murdered there.
Chick #2: That’s not a problem, that’s a bonus!
Aurora, Colorado
