Girl #1: Awww… I knew I smelled you!
Girl #2: (laughs hysterically)

Bennington College
Bennington, Vermont

Professor: Flaccid. That's such a great word. Flaccid.


Teen to friend: He's always making fun of the holocaust.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Flamboyant gay dude: I'm trying to get in touch with my inner prostitute.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: not buying

Girl walking through campus: And that's why you can't put a cat in the microwave.

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Before Harry Hole Joined the Police Force

Sheepish-looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn't taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By “wasn't” I mean “was”, by “taking a shower” I mean “taking a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bottle”. (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!

University of Northern Norway

Old lady to son: People are like teabags. You know?


College dude: I'd totally fuck her bottom half… and I'd just chomp off her top half.

San Jose, California

Overheard by: Skye

20-something woman to another: I need to show you to my dog sometime.

Iithaca, New York

Drummer: Well, that wasn't my first time being on fire but it was my favorite time being on fire.

Los Angeles, California