Mom, looking at pot belly hog: Look, this pig is so fat and lazy that it just lays there all day.
Chubby tween son: Yeah, just like me.
Mom, laughing nervously and glancing around: Come on, honey, don’t say that. You’re nothing like it.
Chubby tween son: Yes, I am, Mom. I’m serious. Don’t you see? It’s like looking in the mirror.
Donaldson Park Petting Zoo
Highland Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: beginning to see the resemblance
American tween boy, about show tune blaring through iPod earphones: I can play this on my armpit.
Heathrow Airport
London
England
Mom: Do you remember what the name of this river is, Billy?
Son: Is it the Platonic River?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Keith
Mom with sunscreen in hand: Give me your arm so I can put this on you.
Little boy: Ewww! What is that?
Mom: Sunscreen. What did you think it was?
Little boy: Mayonnaise!
Giants Game, AT&T Park
San Francisco, California
Son: I just don’t understand it.
Father: That’s because you have no imagination.
Foothills Mall
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Tempus
Cute toddler boy in giant sombrero: I’m running amok! I’m running amok!
Georgetown Cafe
Washington, DC
Five-year-old girl: Does Daddy need socks?
Mom: Yes.
Five-year-old girl: Does Daddy need boxers?
Mom: Yes.
Five-year-old girl: Does Daddy need a bra?
Mom: No.
Five-year-old girl: But he has boobs.
Dundee
Scotland
Overheard by: boredlaura
Mom trying to remove splinter from son’s hand: I’m sorry it hurts. When we get home you can take a bath. Sometimes that helps splinters come out.
Toddler, in between sobs: Okay… And this time I’ll try not to poop in the tub.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hannah
Boy #1: What’s a vagina?
Boy #2: Uh, a girl’s penis.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: didn’t know she had a penis
