Man to two‐year‐old daughter: I drew a face with eyes, nose and mouth. Can you tell me what’s missing?
Two‐year‐old daughter: The boogers in the nose!
Faulconbridge
Australia
Man to two‐year‐old daughter: I drew a face with eyes, nose and mouth. Can you tell me what’s missing?
Two‐year‐old daughter: The boogers in the nose!
Faulconbridge
Australia
Female student: I feel like I have a really tough skin, because I was always teased by my dad from the moment I was born.
Male student (in very serious, philosophical tone): Scorn was your breast milk.
University of Southern California
Overheard by: Got milk?
Girl rambles on in Albanian for two minutes, then suddenly in English: So you can just eat my toe!
Durres
Albania
Mom to child: Do you know what that is, honey?
Child: No.
Mom: That’s a mannequin.
Child (giggling): It doesn’t have a head!
Mom: That’s right. None of them do!
Iowa City, Iowa
Girl: I wish I had a lovable face. My face is deceitful.
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Blonde girl: Whats with the eye patch?
Girl with eye patch: Oh my god, I tried to take out my contact but it was already out, so I ended up peeling off my cornea or something!
Blonde girl: Ew! You should wear two contacts, so that doesn’t happen again.
Carbondale, Illinois
Overheard by: screaming on the inside
Guy to friend: Well, some armpits smell good, too.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Turtle
Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone’s butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.
Portland, Oregon
Cub Scout #1: Your dad has hairy arms.
Cub Scout #2: You know what else is hairy? His penis!
Cub Scout #1: Yeah. So is my mom’s.
Cub Scout Camp
Pennsylvania
Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That’s disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?
Bus Stop
San Diego, California
