Colleges & Universities

Newbie: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor: When it looks like French toast.

Oceanview Terrace dining hall, UCSD
San Diego, California

Chick: I was just in the bathroom trying to throw up, and I just can’t do it! I just gag. A penis can make me throw up, but my own two fingers cant… I hate giving blowjobs.

Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey

Overheard by: BTON

Undergrad #1: Man, it would suck if you died by drowning in molasses.
Undergrad #2: Well, better than being raped.
Undergrad #1: True. Well, unless you were diabetic. Then the molasses would be, like, raping you.

Harvard research lab
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: random person

Boyfriend: You know what happens when you get between me and something I want, right?
Girlfriend, on his lap: I go in the hole?
Boyfriend, puzzled: No… I… I move you out of the way…

Westfield State College
Westfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: It was a brownie he wanted

Macho dude in Student Government Association: I'll smite you with my boobs!

Tunxis Community College, Connecticut

Overheard by: Girl in Black

Physics professor: Hey! Listen up! I’m tired of some of you walking out or ignoring me when we talk about the Big Bang Theory. I’m not telling you God doesn’t exist, so don’t get your panties in a bunch! You! Sit down! Let me finish!

Kent State University
Kent, Ohio

Girl #1: Awww… I knew I smelled you!
Girl #2: (laughs hysterically)

Bennington College
Bennington, Vermont

Professor: Flaccid. That's such a great word. Flaccid.


Girl #1: And I was like: “How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?”
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

Prof, to guy whose ringtone is “Don't Stop Believing”: Aren't you a little young to like that song?

Princeton University
New Jersey