Female student: I feel like I have a really tough skin, because I was always teased by my dad from the moment I was born.
Male student (in very serious, philosophical tone): Scorn was your breast milk.
University of Southern California
Overheard by: Got milk?
Girl #1: Does she need a green card?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: So he just loves her?
Los Angeles, California
Woman: I felt so bad. I was like, “it’s okay, you can leave your pool cue there, come dance with me.“
Friend: And then you left him in the middle of the dance floor.
Woman: I didn’t know he was blind!
Friend: So you blew him?
Woman: Did I?
Hot Springs, Idaho
Girl: I wish I had a lovable face. My face is deceitful.
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Tall gay 20‐something male on cell: My niece died. I need a Fresca.
CVS
Boston, Massachusetts
Tween girl in pack of tween girls: Yes, he’s my friend! He’s nice! But I guess if I thought about it, I wouldn’t like him.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Isotope Feeney
(40‐something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn’t meant to be faithful. We’re all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I’ll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.
Bookstore
Ocala, Florida
Teen #1: So he’s running around with his dick like slapping his abs and he goes “what time you wanna come over?“
Teen #2: His Puerto Rican dick?
Teen #1: Yeah!
Teen #2, sighing dreamily: Oh yeahhhhh.
Flinder’s Street Station
Melbourne
Australia
