Clothes

Pre-hipster eyeing Harvard t-shirt: What do you mean you can't afford it? But you graduated from there. Isn't that the whole point of going there?

Prudential Mall
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by:

Physics professor, talking about static electricity: So why does it work when I'm sliding in a car with carpet seats wearing my wool sweater and not work when I'm sliding in a car with leather seats in my leather outfit?
Students: (shocked silence)
Professor: I mean…I don't…ummmm, moving on…

University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana

Customer #1: Can you tell me about these TVs? Oh, sorry, I thought you worked here. You are dressed just like them.
Customer #2: That's okay. I don't know much about TVs.
Customer #1: What's to know? You plug it in and connect the cable, right? You probably know as much as them. Now these TVs, if they are digital, which they say they are… do I need a cable box for these or do I just put the setting on cable?
Customer #2: I don't know. I don't have a digital TV.
Customer #1: I don't have a TV either. I'm homeless. I have a radio.

Best Buy
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Scomart

Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!

Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania

Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived at a gate. Please make sure you have all your personal belongings before you disembark: iPods, cell phones, BlackBerrys, small pets, sweaters, sunglasses, and since we just came from Las Vegas, wedding rings. Make sure you get those back on folks.

Oakland Airport, California

Overheard by: kat

Chick: Well, my mom wouldn’t let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.

Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado

Dude, after receiving dickhead hat on 50th birthday: Hey, look! My double chin looks like a pair of balls in a nutsack!

Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Tiger Fan

50-something man to another: I got a bunion you could hang a hat off of.

Durand Eastman Golf Course
Rochester, New York

Young gay man: Whereas, lacking the virtue of shoes, men must content themselves with being jerks.
Female friend: A poor consolation, and unfashionable.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Bethany

Old dude to another, reminiscing: You still got that briefcase with all that underwear in it?

Kansas City, Missouri