Dads

Little girl, singing: Hey! I’m a crazy bitch, but I fuck so good you’re on top of it when you dream of doing me all night…
Father: What the fuck?! Are you trying to get taken by the social worker?!

Food Court, Connecticut Post Mall
Milford, Connecticut

Father looking at sign: Look! You could work here when you start school.
Son: Why would I want to work here? They can’t even spell ‘prerequisite’ right.
Father: That’s because it’s per-quisite.

Ohio

Overheard by: glad to be sharing a school with this kid

Small boy: Dad! Dad! Can I have that?
Father: I've told you before, craving leads to attachment.

Toy Shop
Eastern Suburbs, Sydney
Australia

[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?

Great Escape Theater
Illinois

Overheard by: The Surly Usher

Blonde: Ohhh my god! How adorable is he! [Her two friends agree, cooing.]Baby daddy holding infant: Thank you, girls.
Blonde: Can I hold him?
Baby daddy: Yeah, sure… Here you go.
Blonde: Awww, I love him! What’s his name?
Baby daddy: Uhhh… Shit, I know this… Shavon? Shavawn?
Blonde: You don’t even know your son’s name?!
Baby daddy: Shoot, I did earlier. Shavon! Yeah… That’s it. Damn, and I helped name this one, too.

Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: hot child in the city

Man to two-year-old daughter: I drew a face with eyes, nose and mouth. Can you tell me what's missing?
Two-year-old daughter: The boogers in the nose!

Faulconbridge
Australia

Six-year-old girl: Dad, I want to see snow!
Six-year-old girl's twin: Me toooo!
Dad: But girls, it doesn't snow down here–you have to go up north for that.
Six-year-old girl: Then let's go up north!
Six-year-old girl's twin: To the North Pole!
Dad: Yeah! But you know what, mom won't let us.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Chikara

Dad, seeing his little girl spit in a soda bottle: This is disgusting, nobody will want to drink from it now.
Little girl: I know, that's why I did it.
Dad: That's not nice. Smart, but not nice.

Pumpkin Farm
Half Moon Bay, California

Father: We went to the titty bar all the time when we were in Canada.
20-ish daughter: I wish you wouldn’t use the word ‘titty.’
Father: Why not? Titty, titty, titty. Titty, titty, titty.
20-ish daughter: Cock, cunt, pussy, balls, dick.
Father: Point proven.

Connecticut

Overheard by: JPatrick