Students

Wild-haired diner outside restaurant (seriously): If I don't get tenure next year, I don't know what I'll do. I'll have to … I don't know … I'll have to just blog about it.

Bloomsbury, London
England

Random high school kid (during summer school): Shoes are like hats for your feet!

Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology
Alexandria, Virginia

(two 6th-grade boys are sitting on the bus playing with their phones)
Boy #1: Hey, you know “saxophone” sounds a lot like “sexy-phone”!
Boy #2: Haha! Then for short you could call it “the sex”!
Boy #1: (laughs)
Boy #2: It would be like, “Hey, do you know how to play the sex?”
Boy #1: Heh-heh… Yeah, its a very complicated one.
Boy #2: Ew… That's gross.
Boy #1: Yeah, you know where you learn how to do it?
Boy #2: Where?
Boy #1: In college.
Boy #2: No way! I thought we learned everything in 5th grade.
Boy #1: Yeah…but I mean this time they tell you where to stick it in.
Boy #2: Ohhh…

School Bus
Maryland

Overheard by: Sam

Male student: I just… can't control my erections.

Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

(math test is interrupted by a loud construction drill in the next room).
Student: Oh my god, I can't take this test anymore! Can you tell them to stop, please?!
Teacher: Heh… At least there aren't bullets flying over your head.

Concord High School
California

Overheard by: When I was in Vietnam

Spacey English major: So… he’s a queer writer, right?
Surprised teaching assistant: No. He’s just Jewish American.
Spacey English major: Oh, same thing.

University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Jessica

College student to friend: Scott* is so funny. Like, last night, he was looking at his penis…

University of Delaware

Student: I’m as much like Hitler as Hitler was.

Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Kat

Girl: I thought dinosaurs were a fairy tale.

Junior High Science Class
El Paso, Texas

Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?

Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado