White boy: I’m just a freshman. I don’t know how to get bitches yet.

Overheard by:

Professor: It’s like she said — what’s your name again?
Girl: Alandra.
Professor: Alandra. Okay, I’m going to try and remember that.
Girl: It’s easy. Alandra. Just think of ‘a laundromat.’

Overheard by:

Guy #1: Oh, sorry, man. I forgot to tell you about it… If you were on Facebook, I would have invited you.
Guy #2, pissed: … I live two doors down from you!

Student #1: It’s so annoying. Every time I skip class I get an unexcused absence.
Student #2: That’s ridiculous.

Detroit Country Day School
Beverly Hills, Michigan

Overheard by: Jman077

Incoming freshman, about required pre-entry reading: We should not have to be exposed to new ideas we might not agree with.

University campus
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: yeah, now my brain hurts

Freshman chick #1: It’s like, I came home and, like, three months had passed for me, but, like, not for everyone else.
Freshman chick #2: Yeah, my bed is too short now.

Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: lith

Stressed undergrad: Yeah, I have to write a 25 page paper on my experiences with racial ideology.
Bimbette: Oh my god, I would just write a list of every time I talked to a black person… But I would never be able to get 25 pages.

Student: Man! Question number four on that exam? The one about chickens was so hard… It took me forever.
Teacher: Well, it seemed tricky, but the problem was really pretty straightforward. It just involved birds instead of mammals.
Student: … Chickens are birds?

Bloomington, Indiana

Grad student #1: So, have you been fucking mad bitches?
Grad student #2: Well… Not really.

MIT Chemical Engineering Lounge
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Perky grad student: I got kicked out of vegetarianism for eating brains. I ate brains, I ate testicles, I ate stomachs… Stomachs are really gross.

Blacksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: Amy