Short girl: So, what do you do with the pen cap condoms?
Much taller girl: Okay, you take them…and you throw them out.
Short girl: You don’t like…reuse them or something?
Much taller girl, smiling: Do you reuse normal condoms?
(short girl laughs)
Much taller girl, seriously: Don’t just wash those and reuse them.
Onteora HS
Boiceville, New York
Overheard by: Toasted
Girl: But Gandhi — he, like, did so much for the world. He helped humanity.
Guy: Yeah, but we still shouldn’t have to write a paragraph about him.
Flint Hall, Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: ears burning
Smart girl: Obviously ‘irregardless’ is the wrong word in the sentence.
Dumb girl: Why is that word wrong?
Smart girl: For starters, it’s not even a real word.
Dumb girl: Sure it is — I use it all the time.
Erie Community College
Orchard Park, New York
Overheard by: Smarty Pants
Emo #1, trying on black eyeshadow: Does it look alright?
Emo #2: Yeah, it looks great!
Emo #1: Should I buy it?
Emo #2: Yes! Oh my god, there’s some on your face!
Emo #1: Where?
Emo #2: There, on your cheek!
(emo #1 starts wiping it off)
Emo #2: Hey, you look like an aboriginal.
Cosmetics Shop
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Somni
Best Shakespeare professor ever: I love metaphors. Metaphors be with you!
College of St. Rose
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Erin
20‐something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor‐boated me.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
50‐something man to another: I got a bunion you could hang a hat off of.
Durand Eastman Golf Course
Rochester, New York
Thesis advisor to uncomfortable‐looking advisees: You girls might be too young for it, but if you ever have the chance to have sex on a water bed, you should do it.
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
