New York

New bride: Should I get this bag for my mother-in-law?
Friend: Will it make her love you?
New bride: No… Fuck that bitch.

Saratoga Springs, New York

Overheard by: louise

Hobo drinking coffee to lady passerby: I’d offer you some, but it’s not that good.
I like it black. And sweet. Ten sugers… This tastes like crap!

In front of coffee truck, 135th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Kier

Gas station worker #1, pointing to arm: … And right here is where I got stabbed.
Gas station worker #2: No way! That’s the exact same place I got stabbed! Same arm, too!

Pittsford, New York

Overheard by: Rook

Five-year-old girl, pointing to picture on cup: Who's that?
Babysitter: That's Ronald McDonald.
Five-year-old girl: Oh… How do you know him?

Manhattan, New York

Chick looking at Bratz dolls: What happened to Barbie? Who are these people? Why are they trying to sell my five-year-old sister a doll that looks like a prostitute?

Mount Vernon, New York

Woman to boyfriend: Get back here so I can take a picture of you lying to me!

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Trying not to spit soda from my nose

20-something woman to another: I need to show you to my dog sometime.

Iithaca, New York

Chick: I can never place his accent–it's like he lives south- but his accent's eastern too.
Guy: Maybe he lives… south east? I don't know.
Chick: No, he lives in Illinois- that's north-south.

New York

Bar manager: So, did you watch that film I gave you?
Bouncer: Yeah, man — I couldn’t get past the opening credits without a box of tissues.

Westchester, New York

Overheard by: Tom

Angry guy, loudly: My sister is not a fetish model!

Greenport Harbor Brewery
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Ladle