Husband, after girl he knew left table: That was Joe’s* little sister’s friend.
Wife: The one he fucked in the ass?
Husband: No, that was somebody else. This one only blew him.
Wife: Oh. She seems nice.
Diner
Long Island, New York
Husband, after girl he knew left table: That was Joe’s* little sister’s friend.
Wife: The one he fucked in the ass?
Husband: No, that was somebody else. This one only blew him.
Wife: Oh. She seems nice.
Diner
Long Island, New York
Boy #1: What’s a vagina?
Boy #2: Uh, a girl’s penis.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: didn’t know she had a penis
Girl: Are you getting married?
Preggers: Don’t know — maybe… If we get along okay.
Bar
New York
Fat lady crying into cell: I know he’s married, but I don’t understand why he’s dumping me!
Colonie Center Mall
Albany, New York
Overheard by: conflicted
Freshman girl to gaggle: Why is my mom such a whore?! Nuns are sluts.
Rochester Institute of Technology
Rochester, New York
Professor: Ben, what did you get for that one?
Student: First, I’m Matt. Second, I don’t know.
Professor: Well, it’s okay to be mad.
Student: No, I’m not mad, I’m Matt. M-A-T-T, Matt.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Kelly
New bride: Should I get this bag for my mother-in-law?
Friend: Will it make her love you?
New bride: No… Fuck that bitch.
Saratoga Springs, New York
Overheard by: louise
Hobo drinking coffee to lady passerby: I’d offer you some, but it’s not that good.
I like it black. And sweet. Ten sugers… This tastes like crap!
In front of coffee truck, 135th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kier
Gas station worker #1, pointing to arm: … And right here is where I got stabbed.
Gas station worker #2: No way! That’s the exact same place I got stabbed! Same arm, too!
Pittsford, New York
Overheard by: Rook
Five-year-old girl, pointing to picture on cup: Who's that?
Babysitter: That's Ronald McDonald.
Five-year-old girl: Oh… How do you know him?
McDonald's
Manhattan, New York
