Dude #1: Man, I got so drunk on Saturday.
Dude #2: Did you pee your pants again?
Dude #1: No. [Dude #2 stares at him.] … Yes.
Dude #2: What’s wrong with you?
Dude #1: I don’t know.
Lake View Terrace, California
Dude #1: Man, I got so drunk on Saturday.
Dude #2: Did you pee your pants again?
Dude #1: No. [Dude #2 stares at him.] … Yes.
Dude #2: What’s wrong with you?
Dude #1: I don’t know.
Lake View Terrace, California
Teen girl wearing a warm jacket: Hey, Kim.
Kim: [Wearing pretty much nothing.] Oooh, you look warm! Can I put my hand inside you?
Los Angeles, California
Guy #1: John* really needs to get laid. He hasn’t hooked up for months.
Guy #2: Dude, didn’t you hear what happened to him?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: The last girl he brought home shat in his bed. He’s been kind of gun-shy since then.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Guy #1: What did the bear say when he walked into the bar?
Guy #2: [Blank stare.]
Guy #1: Roarrrr. He’s a fucking bear, what else would he say! [Laughs out loud.]Guy #2: I haven’t seen you in two months, and this is what you start with? You are a fucking idiot.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amber
Little boy #1: [Makes peeing sound, pretends to pee.]Little boy #2: That’s nothing! Feel the wrath of my penis!!
Macy’s in Fashion Square Mall
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Stephanie
Townie to his friend: Yeah well, just because you don’t like your fat wife doesn’t mean I don’t!
Plaza Restaurant
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Girl #1: I can understand the idea behind having an affair…
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s the change of scenery.
Girl #3: The change of dick…
East Lansing, Michigan
Female roommate, discussing broken toilet: It’s funny how the tampon goes but not the poop.
Male roommate: I should have stayed in my room.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: should’ve stayed at the library…
Man in stall on the left: Bill, I think we’re in the wrong bathroom.
Man in stall on the right: Yeah, I think I just figured that out.
Women’s restroom at United Center
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl in the stall between them
Six-year-old kid: Will you come over to our place?
Mom’s friend: No.
Six-year-old kid: Why not?
Mom’s friend: Because you’re annoying.
Mom: See? I told you!
Fabric Store
DeKalb, Illinois
