Wasted guy #1: Let me see your phone.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: I need to call my cell.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: To see if it’s in my pocket.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Tswerve
Wasted guy #1: Let me see your phone.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: I need to call my cell.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: To see if it’s in my pocket.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Tswerve
Bimbette #1: I wish I was fat.
Bimbette #2: I totally know what you mean.
Dallas, Texas
Dude #1: So he says, ‘If you can walk a straight line, you can come into my bar.’
Dude #2: And then he got raped!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: ummmm
Girl to guy: You get the starch, condoms and Red Bull. I will get the rest.
Austin, Texas
Nerd: She was like, ‘That’s so cute!’ and then I came all over her face!
Baylor University
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: kindaDisgusted
Woman: Did you hear about the lawyer in England who wouldn’t take a Muslim woman as a client because she wore a burkha and the lawyer said she couldn’t hear her?! [Holds piece of paper over her mouth] Hello! You can still hear me, right?
Boyfriend: Yeah.
Woman: I can’t believe this! They have that happen, but when a kid dressed up as a pirate and the school kicked him out he said he was a Pastafarian and they let him back in.
Boyfriend: Pastafarian?
Woman: You know, flying spaghetti monster as God, pirates are sacred…
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah.
Starbucks
League City, Texas
Overheard by: JustWantsCoffee
Flamboyant gay dude: I'm trying to get in touch with my inner prostitute.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: not buying
