Girl to guy: You get the starch, condoms and Red Bull. I will get the rest.
Austin, Texas
Girl to guy: You get the starch, condoms and Red Bull. I will get the rest.
Austin, Texas
Nerd: She was like, ‘That’s so cute!’ and then I came all over her face!
Baylor University
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: kindaDisgusted
Woman: Did you hear about the lawyer in England who wouldn’t take a Muslim woman as a client because she wore a burkha and the lawyer said she couldn’t hear her?! [Holds piece of paper over her mouth] Hello! You can still hear me, right?
Boyfriend: Yeah.
Woman: I can’t believe this! They have that happen, but when a kid dressed up as a pirate and the school kicked him out he said he was a Pastafarian and they let him back in.
Boyfriend: Pastafarian?
Woman: You know, flying spaghetti monster as God, pirates are sacred…
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah.
Starbucks
League City, Texas
Overheard by: JustWantsCoffee
Flamboyant gay dude: I'm trying to get in touch with my inner prostitute.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: not buying
Guy #1: The deaf people are coming out in droves.
Guy #2: That bad?
Guy #1: Dude, it's like day of the deaf, or night of the living deaf!
Wal-Mart
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Rev Loon
Party girl #1: I totally puked at that party last night. I'm going to make a scrapbook of all the parties I have puked at.
Party girl #2: That would be awesome! You definitely have enough for a scrapbook or two!
IHOP
Dallas, Texas
Girl to sister: The cheese is so good! It tastes like chicken!
Parenra
Houston, Texas
Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.
Mansfield, Texas
