Little boy: I don’t like your rules, Mommy!
Mom: They aren’t my rules, honey, they’re America’s rules.

Austin, Texas

Black woman to child: You just mama’s little white boy, aren’t you? Yes you are!
Passing Hispanic woman: Is he really white?

Wal‐Mart Parking Lot
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Walk By Faster

Hispanic cleaning lady, about being a nurse in Mexico: It’s not like over there, like say, if you accidentally kill an old person, you have to buy another one.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: high school aide

Girl: We need to go steal more diapers from Target.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Seven‐year‐old boy: Just because he’s a kid doesn’t mean he should not have to moisturize his hair.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: sandy

Professor: The French lords were so disbelieving. It was like your favorite puppy going ‘Rawr, rawr, rawr!’ and taking a chunk out of your arm — they were just like, ‘Huh? What?’

Burdine Hall, University of Texas
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: she actually growled

Tired‐looking girl to security officer: Are you the guy who’s going to burn my taco?

Dallas‐Fort Worth Airport

Student: I have that song “Ring My Bell” in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It’s not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don’t know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song “In the Navy.“
Advisor #2: That’s not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.

El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: Disco Dan

Guy going to study for finals: I’m kinda scared to sit in a cubicle alone… by myself… Alone with my thoughts. Not good.

PCL Library
University of Texas at Austin

Attractive passerby: And then she was all like, “my parents would never press charges against you.” And I was so touched…

Houston, Texas