Texas

Boy #1 to girl as he throws wad of paper: Hey, heads up!
Boy #2: Whoa! She actually caught it!
Girl, shooting proud look at them: Yeah! Duh — I’m not illiterate.

Chemistry class
Friendswood, Texas

Dude on cell: I was so excited we got new washers in the dorm laundry room… I know! You can wash, like, an entire homeless person in those!

University of North Texas
Denton, Texas

Overheard by: Big Rob

Friend #1: It just gets yummier as you go from one shot glass to the next.
Friend #2: Which side do you start from?
Friend #1: It doesn’t matter.
Friend #2: … That doesn’t make sense.

Plano, Texas

Guy: I went drinking last night, and when I woke up this morning to go to my final I was still drunk!
Girl: Ugh, don’t you hate it when you get drunk and you’re not sober?

El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: Randi

Hoochie: I strategically wore a skirt and he didn’t even try anything!

West Campus
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Molly

College girl: We should have asked for one of those male waitresses.

Katz’s restaurant
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: queenofsarab

Wasted guy #1: Let me see your phone.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: I need to call my cell.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: To see if it’s in my pocket.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Tswerve

Bimbette #1: I wish I was fat.
Bimbette #2: I totally know what you mean.

Dallas, Texas

Dude #1: So he says, ‘If you can walk a straight line, you can come into my bar.’
Dude #2: And then he got raped!

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: ummmm

Girl to guy: You get the starch, condoms and Red Bull. I will get the rest.

Austin, Texas