Professor: Then the electrons are passed around like a hot potato or, you know, a cheerleader.
Radford University, Virginia
Professor: Then the electrons are passed around like a hot potato or, you know, a cheerleader.
Radford University, Virginia
Possibly gay barista: Caramel.
Trailer park barista: Car-mel.
Possibly gay barista: Car-a-mel.
Trailer park barista: That used to drive me nuts when I used to work here.
Robot Lodge, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Coffee Lurker
Waitress: What kind of dressing would you like on your salad? We have French, Thousand Island and Italian.
Gorgeous blond: I’ll have Ranch.
Waitress: No.
Glenwood Springs, Colorado
Girl to friend: Well, I woke up naked, again, with a quesadilla in my bed, again, so I say it was a pretty average night.
Eclipse de Sol Restaurant
Atlanta, Georgia
Gucci girl to friends: God! I’m so tired of my Nazi book group! (silence) I mean, they don’t want cookies, they don’t want to socialize, it’s just like, book book book you may not mention anything besides the book!
Glencoe, Illinois
Overheard by: I was worried for a minute
Customer (ordering a birthday cake for his wife): Can you put “You’re better lookin’ than your twin sister” on it?
Alpine Bakery
Concord, California
Overenthusiastic principal: So, where’d ya guys go for lunch? Huh?
Jaded student (indicating Subway cup): I ate fresh.
Principal: Did you go the 6 inch route? Or the 12 inch?
Student: I, uhhh… 6.
Principal, grinning: Don’t worry, Shane* -I think you’re man enough to take a 12-inch.
Livingston, Montana
Female voice over speakerphone: Maybe you shouldn’t listen to me. I just reached into my glass of milk to retrieve a cookie that I accidentally dropped to the bottom during dunking. Now I am covered in milk. I’ve got milk hands!
Fraternity guy: I thought you were trying to make your own metaphor, like “I don’t see the glass as half empty or half full, I see my hand in it retrieving cookies.”
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Wants No Part Of This
Roommate: I don’t eat leftovers. They make my throat hurt.
Brandon
Manitoba
Canadia
Girl: Hey, does anyone know if Stu* is still alive?
Guy: What? Why?
Girl, laughing: Because he went out into the woods last night with nothing but a lighter and a can of tomato soup.
Egremont, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lily
