Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I’m not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: cgt
Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I’m not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: cgt
Chick #1: Was she cute?
Chick #2: No, she was fugs! She looked like an anorexic bear. You know, like, at the circus? One of the ones that are tortured… And forced to wear party hats.
Red Line train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: I totally know what you mean…
Children librarian, about girl scout troop outside: Um…they’re throwing rocks at the windows.
Library
Suburbia, Illinois
Overheard by: martha
Drunk girl in bar during Rose Bowl: It’s official – I’m going to be ovulating on my wedding day.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Double V
Blonde girl: Whats with the eye patch?
Girl with eye patch: Oh my god, I tried to take out my contact but it was already out, so I ended up peeling off my cornea or something!
Blonde girl: Ew! You should wear two contacts, so that doesn’t happen again.
Carbondale, Illinois
Overheard by: screaming on the inside
Mother to toddler daughter: Would you rather I just say “testicles”?
Art Institute of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Brian
Student #1: So what do you think, eh?
Student #2: Are you Canadian?
Student #1: Why in the world are you asking me that? Is it because I said “eh”?
Student #2: Well, yeah.
Student #1: That is a total misconception! Not all Canadians end sentences with the word “eh”! I can’t believe you think that!
Student #2: (thinking it over) So are you?
Student #1: Canadian? Yes.
Wabash
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Laughing as I pass
Queer #1: Ugh. All I know is that pussy smells like ass. I tried once in high school, and I was all, ‘Oooh, that smells like ass!’ and so I tried one more time, and it still smelled like ass.
Queer #2: Well, we know one thing for sure — your ass must smell like pussy.
Cleo’s, Chicago Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: EEE
Woman: I wish I hadn’t had hooters for breakfast!
Fitting Room
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire