Very serious little boy: I don’t think a moose and a human should kiss.
Library
Chicago Suburbs, Illinois
Very serious little boy: I don’t think a moose and a human should kiss.
Library
Chicago Suburbs, Illinois
Teenager #1: My parents would never let me wear that out of the house.
Teenager #2: My dad’s a freak. He likes to see me half-naked.
Navy Pier
Chicago, Illinois
Nanny (in thick Irish accent): Get over here right now!
(little girl does not move)
Nanny: Jesus sees you!
(little girl still not moving)
Nanny: Santa sees you, and you’ll get nothing!
(little girl runs to nanny)
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Charles
Little boy, to stoic mother in shoe aisle: I love the night life! I like the boobies! I love the night life! I like the boobies!
(five minutes later, at checkout lane)
Little boy, to stoic mother: I love the night life! I like the boobies! I love the night life! I like the boobies!…
Kohl’s
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Me too, my man.
[Chinese girls whispering.]Girl #1 yells: What?! You slept with him last night and didn’t come home until three this morning?!
Girl #2 yells back: In Chinese, stupid!
Bus
Chicago, Illinois
Blundergrad: I was really irritable today. There was something up my butt. Literally!
Northwestern University
Illinois
Biology professor: There are a lot of great tits in england.
Knox College
Galesburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Oh, bio…
Little girl: I farted!
Dad, indifferent: Stop farting.
Little girl: I farted on the dog!
Dad, still indifferent: Continue farting.
Glendale Heights, Illinois
Overheard by: rbmmom
Man in stall on the left: Bill, I think we’re in the wrong bathroom.
Man in stall on the right: Yeah, I think I just figured that out.
Women’s restroom at United Center
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl in the stall between them
