Girl: I’m using super advanced alien technology!
Guy: I’m using… a pumpkin!
Wheaton, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Girl: I’m using super advanced alien technology!
Guy: I’m using… a pumpkin!
Wheaton, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Hoochie: If I could get a hundred bucks just for showing my titties on Jerry Springer, I’d so do it.
Chicago, Illinois
New male employee: You shouldn’t open the lettuce like that.
Old female employee: Don’t tell me how to do my fucking job!
Manager, yelling from across store: Watch out! She’ll cut you!
Jimmy John’s
Charleston, Illinois
Overheard by: I just want my sandwich
[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?
Great Escape Theater
Illinois
Overheard by: The Surly Usher
Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn’t know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that’s Cosmo!
Barnes & Noble
Illinois
Guy with luggage: What’s the temperature tonight?
Guy without luggage: Two.
Guy with luggage: Two? Two! Why the fuck do people live here!?
Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois
Girl on cell: I just heard the most epic pickup line. Like, if Homer had known this pickup line it would have been all over The Odyssey.
Northwestern University
Illinois
Girl #1: How come I always feel drunk whenever you're drunk?
Girl #2: I don't know.
Girl #1: I think we're drunk cycling together!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I'm not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: cgt
