Little kid: I have a powerful thing coming to me. Ya know what it is? Pizza!
University of Virginia
Charlottesville, Virginia
Little kid: I have a powerful thing coming to me. Ya know what it is? Pizza!
University of Virginia
Charlottesville, Virginia
Guy to friends: No, I mean he’s really in love with her, like reeeeally in love. He left his trailer, and moved in with his parents.
Buffalo Wild Wings
Winchester, Virginia
Girl: Seriously, she’s completely obsessed. Like all of her final drawings were of his penis. Like all of them.
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Abbie
Girl on cell: Listen, he is not a nice guy. Anyone with handcuffs permanently attached to his bed frame is not a nice guy.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there’s more than one?
JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: baffled
Guy #1: John* really needs to get laid. He hasn’t hooked up for months.
Guy #2: Dude, didn’t you hear what happened to him?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: The last girl he brought home shat in his bed. He’s been kind of gun-shy since then.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Female professor: I may not be the best literary critic of the century, but I know when I’m in a fucking whorehouse.
Combs Hall
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Drunk girl in bar to bartender: You should be so lucky as to have sex with me.
Bartender: I wouldn’t fuck you for practice.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: warm ups?
Girl walking to bus stop drunk: I just wanted to walk in, get groped and leave.
Pheasant Run
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Brandon Call
Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those “zombies”.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
