Virginia

Random high school kid (during summer school): Shoes are like hats for your feet!

Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology
Alexandria, Virginia

Police officer: So that's when they started pulling baseball bats out of their pants?
Guy: Yeah, baseball bats and machetes!

Tysons Corner
Fairfax County, Virginia

Overheard by: Jack

Airline personnel: We should be boarding the plane at 10:25… If we have a plane.

Airport
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Burt

Professor: Then the electrons are passed around like a hot potato or, you know, a cheerleader.

Radford University, Virginia

Professor: I make no sense to myself, I’m surprised I know my own name. Why? Because life sucks. But I have a nice jacket!

Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

Little kid: I have a powerful thing coming to me. Ya know what it is? Pizza!

University of Virginia
Charlottesville, Virginia

Guy to friends: No, I mean he’s really in love with her, like reeeeally in love. He left his trailer, and moved in with his parents.

Buffalo Wild Wings
Winchester, Virginia

Girl: Seriously, she’s completely obsessed. Like all of her final drawings were of his penis. Like all of them.

Roanoke, Virginia

Overheard by: Abbie

Girl on cell: Listen, he is not a nice guy. Anyone with handcuffs permanently attached to his bed frame is not a nice guy.

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there’s more than one?

JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: baffled