Friends

Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there’s people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?

Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: How did it get there?

Tall guy: My girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend had an eight inch penis.
Younger friend girl: What!? Why would she tell you that?!
Tall guy: I guess she just thought I should know.
Younger friend girl: No, here’s a better question. Why would you tell me that!?

Chick-fil-A
Houston, Texas

Spaced-out kid: And I think it was some kind of message in that out-of-body experience. Like, it was my soul trying to tell me that after I finished puking, I should take a shower.
Teenage queer: Your dreams are fucked.

St. Andrew’s College
Aurora
Canadia

Guy to friends: No, I mean he’s really in love with her, like reeeeally in love. He left his trailer, and moved in with his parents.

Buffalo Wild Wings
Winchester, Virginia

[Chinese girls whispering.]Girl #1 yells: What?! You slept with him last night and didn’t come home until three this morning?!
Girl #2 yells back: In Chinese, stupid!

Bus
Chicago, Illinois

Girl#1: I mean, my parents have no money now. Dad lost it in his “snort” phase.
Girl#2: My mom had that phase, but now she’s just into the “prescription” phase.
Girl#3: That’s a great phase.

Banana Republic
Kitchener
Canada

Preppy girl: I love not wearing pants.
[Friends start to laugh.]Preppy girl: No! I mean have you ever gone to the beach and –you just take off your bottoms and –no! I mean you like take off your swimsuit bottoms–.
[Friends erupt in laughter.]Preppy girl: I just mean –I just like not wearing pants…

High School
San Diego, California

Asian girl #1: They’re doing it.
Asian girl #2: They’re doing it a lot, it’s like twice a week!
Asian girl #1: Man, and she wants it, too!
Asian girl #2: She’s Catholic.

San Francisco, California

Wannabe thug #1: So I told her: “Bitch, there’d better be flowers on my balls!”
Wannabe thug #2: Straight.

Mission Hill
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Henry

20-something hipster girl to another: So, anyway, no one is pregnant.

Sorella’s Diner

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna