Overheard at Cornell

Engineer #1: What’s the deal with you and your two friends? What do you need two for?
Engineer #2: Hey! I like my friends! Both of them.


Overheard by: charlie

Chick: Oklahoma and Ohio — I always get those two mixed up.
Dude: Yeah.
Chick: Wait, which one is in the middle of the country?
Dude: Uh, they both are, kind of.
Chick: Oh, well, which one is a state?
Dude: Both.
Chick: Yeah, that’s why I get them mixed up!


Overheard by: taranto

Girl #1: Whatever happened to that bird?
Guy: Which one? The original?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Guy: It’s in Professor Long’s* lab. I put it in a bag and squeezed the air out, so it shouldn’t be rotting too much.
Girl #2: It’s going to smell so bad when you open it.
Guy: No, it won’t…
Girl #2: Uh, yeah it will. You’d better open it up, drop it, and run away for a few hours.
Guy: Oh, come on, for Christ’s sake! After I removed the scent glands from a skunk with my bare hands and sawed its head off, what could be worse?!


Overheard by: kinda creeped out

Worried junior: Oh my god, Betty, we are totally not sitting in the loser section today. Today we are going to be cool.


Overheard by: inthecoolsection

Girl #1: Ewww, that tastes like glue! I mean, I imagine if I knew what glue tasted like, it would taste like that.
Girl #2: You know what tastes like glue? Rice noodles.


Overheard by: scott

Confused girl to another: You’re a man-whore? I’m a man-whore, too!


Overheard by: anonymous

Dude: She totally sandbags! You know she sandbags?!
Chick: Like there’s a hurricane.


Overheard by: pineapple

Preppy girl: I want a t-shirt! I mean, I stuck my head in a vagina — I totally deserve one!


Overheard by: what would you do for a tee shirt?

Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.


Overheard by: newm

Girl engineer: I should do LSD or something… Then I could, like, step outside my mind and solve all of these problems from, like, a greater depth of being.


Overheard by: the sinister minister