Overheard at Cornell

Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.


Overheard by: newm

Girl engineer: I should do LSD or something… Then I could, like, step outside my mind and solve all of these problems from, like, a greater depth of being.


Overheard by: the sinister minister

Frat boy: Nah, I’m not going out tonight. I’d rather wake up tomorrow and have a problem set done instead of a fat girl.


Overheard by: doug

Whiny girl: My flight was canceled!
Friend: Oh, no! … Your hair looks great!


Overheard by: Paris

Art history TA: This print depicts the sacrifice of Isaac, which is a biblical story where God told Abraham to kill his first‐born son.
Bimbette: Oh. My. God. That’s… terrible! That’s almost as bad as a girl telling her boyfriend that he needs to get rid of his dog because she’s allergic.


Overheard by: mary

Preppy girl: I want a t‑shirt! I mean, I stuck my head in a vagina — I totally deserve one!


Overheard by: what would you do for a tee shirt?

Dude #1: Dude, have you ever, y’know, worked with slop?
Dude #2: Yeah, I’ve done it.
Dude #1: No, seriously, dude — you’ve never been there… with the trough…
Dude #2: Dude, I totally have too done it.
Dude #1: When?
Dude #2: I dunno, man, but I’ve done it.


Overheard by: florack

Chick on cell: Okay, good luck with the bees and good luck with the scoliosis.


Distressed girl: I don’t know how many bitches I have!


Overheard by: queer engineer

Guy to girl selling breast cancer t‑shirts: I’ll do it later — the kids with cancer will still have cancer.


Overheard by: Mike