APB: Shoot on Sight

Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/april-is-cruelest-month.html

Overheard by: newm

Posted on May 10, 2023
Bragging, Drinking & drunks, Idiots, Overheard at Cornell

Like Schizophrenics and Psychotics Do

Girl engineer: I should do LSD or something… Then I could, like, step outside my mind and solve all of these problems from, like, a greater depth of being.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/there-is-infinite-possibility-in.html

Overheard by: the sinister minister

Posted on February 26, 2023
Drugs, Idiots, Overheard at Cornell

Dude, I Remember When You Were Cool

Frat boy: Nah, I’m not going out tonight. I’d rather wake up tomorrow and have a problem set done instead of a fat girl.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/02/monday-madness.html

Overheard by: doug

Posted on February 8, 2023
Education, Frat boy types, Overheard at Cornell

Your Flaps Are Up and Everything

Whiny girl: My flight was canceled!
Friend: Oh, no! … Your hair looks great!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html

Overheard by: Paris

Posted on September 11, 2022
Compliments, Friends, Overheard at Cornell

You Know, the Old Testament God Is a Real Dick

Art history TA: This print depicts the sacrifice of Isaac, which is a biblical story where God told Abraham to kill his first‐born son.
Bimbette: Oh. My. God. That’s… terrible! That’s almost as bad as a girl telling her boyfriend that he needs to get rid of his dog because she’s allergic.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/halloween-mania-part‑2.html

Overheard by: mary

Posted on August 7, 2022
Bimbettes, Class, Overheard at Cornell, Stupidity, Teachers

Since It Squirted Me

Preppy girl: I want a t‑shirt! I mean, I stuck my head in a vagina — I totally deserve one!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/wasted-on-friday-night.html

Overheard by: what would you do for a tee shirt?

Posted on July 3, 2022
Overheard at Cornell, Preppies, Vagina

I Must Have Been Kirstie Alley’s Waiter at Some Point

Dude #1: Dude, have you ever, y’know, worked with slop?
Dude #2: Yeah, I’ve done it.
Dude #1: No, seriously, dude — you’ve never been there… with the trough…
Dude #2: Dude, I totally have too done it.
Dude #1: When?
Dude #2: I dunno, man, but I’ve done it.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html

Overheard by: florack