Overheard at McGill

White girl: I don’t know why I don’t like dark-skinned people…
White guy: Maybe because you’re a racist?
White girl, annoyed: Nooo… I just don’t like them.


Loud girl: Why would she have sex with a head injury?


Stoned guy: Don’t beat me up! I don’t want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!


Obsessive girl: Who do you think would win between a pig and a bat? I think a bat would win!


Dude to chick: But seriously, aren’t you afraid that when you give birth you’re going to shit yourself?


Guy #1: Oh, sorry, man. I forgot to tell you about it… If you were on Facebook, I would have invited you.
Guy #2, pissed: … I live two doors down from you!


Asian guy: Goddamn, that shooter down in the US is gonna give Asians a bad name. Quiet Asian guys will only be able to stay silent for five minutes before people get suspicious.
Mexican guy: Join the club. Down in the US people only think of us as cheap landscapers.
Asian guy: I don?t think we have a lot of Mexicans here.
Mexican guy: That must be why your lawns look so shitty.


Girl on cell: He had stubby fingers. Little stubby butcher’s fingers. You wouldn’t want to feel those caressing your body… He was a good lay, though.


Chick #1, fawning over little pup: Oh my god, he is sooo adorable. Hellooo! Hellooo there, little guy! Awww, so cute. [She and her friend walk away.]Chick #2: Oh, he was so cute! I wish I could have one.
Chick #1: I wish I could have stepped on the little thing and squished its little head.


Professor, about English grammar: Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I was thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.


Overheard by: ed216