Friends

Dude #1: So yeah, Kayla* got me kicked off the ski trip because I gave her ten bucks to buy some food. And she bought scissors. Fucking scissors. And apparently I'm not stable enough to have scissors and they think I'll fucking stab someone with them. And she gave me back $2.48 in change. The scissors were from the fucking dollar store. They couldn't have been that expensive. Next time she sits on my lap in math class I'm gonna call her a pick-pocket.
Dude #2: Okay, great story. Now shut the fuck up. I missed half the fucking dialogue of Cloverfield.

West Edmonton Mall
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Trying to watch Cloverfield

Girl to friend: I mean, they have everything. I don't need anything… they have gold, knives, drugs…
Friend: (nods in agreement)

Shopper's Drug Mart
Toronto
Canadia

Girl looking at a picture of someone milking a cow: Oh my god, look at the size of the testicles on this cow!
Embarrassed friend: Um, that's its udder.

Ohio State University