Hobo: Wow, you look just like Billy Idol!
Blonde: Um, thanks.
Hobo: No, really. You look good, girl. Wanna share some of my wine?
Blonde: Um, no thanks. I’m good.

San Diego, California

Hot lesbo #1: I wanna have your babies.
Hot lesbo #2: I wanna eat your babies.
Hot lesbo #1: I wanna eat your hair.

Piola Bar
São Paulo

Overheard by: touché

Little girl to mom: But I am getting real good! Yesterday I didn't get any poop on my hand!

Public Restroom

Old lady diner to captain: This food is amazing. I hope the chef is single, over 60, and horny.

Arnaud’s Restaurant, Bienville Street
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: The Frontwaiter

Skinny guy: I like the big girls because they're cleaner, and they buy you drinks.

Overheard by: joe joe.

Skinny guy with pink hair: I don't think I could be any more bad-ass.


Cop, over cruiser speaker, to lethargic group of hipsters: Go ahead…walk.
(hipsters saunter across street)
Cop, still on speaker: Good job.

Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kaitlin

Hippie guy: Did you know he built a whole, like, bum encampment out of logs? Two houses, a refrigerator… Well, there was no electricity but he had a refrigerator out there… He even had a guest bed. And it was all clean, with a bible laying on the bed… He took being a bum to a whole new level.

Humboldt State University
Arcata, California

Overheard by: Jenn

College guy #1: My penis is getting stronger!
College guy #2: What does that even mean? How do you know?
College guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bushes now, and for a while I couldn't.
College guy #2: Niiiice!
(they high five)

Overheard by: a lil.

Tween girl in pack of tween girls: Yes, he's my friend! He's nice! But I guess if I thought about it, I wouldn't like him.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Isotope Feeney