Compliments

(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but…
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh… (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We're talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You're so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you'd never think about shoes again.

Akron, Ohio

Overheard by: Julia M

Angry traveler: The flight’s canceled because of weather?!? Can’t you do something?
Airline counter man: Ma’am, despite my godlike appearance, I cannot control the weather.

O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: He’s not so Godlike

Guy #1: You’re beautiful… you’re beautiful.
Guy #2: No… but I’m not fuckable beautiful!

University of California, San Diego

Overheard by: whoa mango

(two college girls walking down M Street towards Georgetown)
Girl #1: You look cute. I like your dress.
Girl #2: Yeah…I didn’t shower.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/06/never-said-you-smelled-cute.html

Overheard by:

Customer (ordering a birthday cake for his wife): Can you put “You’re better lookin’ than your twin sister” on it?

Alpine Bakery
Concord, California

Girl: So I asked him: “When are you going to come back for a reunion? I miss you!” and he was like: “I miss you so much I’ve had to replace you with alcohol.” That’s like, the biggest, best compliment ever! They should make a Hallmark card that says that.

West Lafayette, Indianapolis

Overheard by: Kolja

Guy #1: Is he good at sex?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy #2: Wow. I’m surprised.
Girl: Honestly, I was too.

San Francisco, California

Teen cashier at checkout: Are you listening to music on an iPod?
Geriatric customer: It’s an iPhone.
Teen cashier: Dude, you’re ballin’.

Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by: Hoosier

Girl, observing a display of plush microbes: I want herpes! I think it’s so cute!

SUNY
Geneseo, New York

Overheard by: Jeni

Middle-aged creepster: She was a slut in middle school, so she’s my type of girl.

Gentle Bens Brewery
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: a middle school slut