Washington, DC

Seven-year-old boy to small sister at counter: Get out of the line! You on the line and I'm exquisite. I'm exquisite! I'm exquisite! I'm exquisite!

H&M
Washington, DC

Girl: Oh my god, that is so slutty!
Guy: Not it's not! Sluts in unison aren't as slutty.

Georgetown University
Washington, DC

Thug: So I just need somewhere to test my invention…

Washington, DC

Overheard by: can't help but wonder…

Large, beefy boyfriend: Wow babe, what you said was really extinct… wait, doesn't “extinct” mean dead and not here anymore? I think I mean “distinct” or something.
Nerdy girlfriend: I love you.

Georgetown University
Washington, DC

Two-year-old girl: Mommy! You have hair on your vagina!

Restroom
Washington, DC

Balding yuppie guy on cell: All things being equal, I would like to drink.
(pause)
Balding yuppie guy on cell: Oh, so you guys are drinking in the convent?

Saxby’s Coffee
Georgetown, Washington, DC

Preppie guy: … And I said, “That’s why I trade corn futures!” [Entire table erupts in raucous laughter.]

Ethiopian restaurant, 12th & U
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ladle

Twentysomething guy, excitedly: And all I could think was “Thank god im circumsized!”

Cherry Blossom Festival, National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: sara aliza

Little boy: But I don’t care about the dead guys anymore!

Washington Monument
Washington, DC

Annoyed suit: Sir, don’t make me break out the “Canterbury Tales!”

Washington, DC