Little boy (jumping off fire truck on a giant spring): Let's go to wienerland!
Miami, Florida
Dude #1: So yeah, Kayla* got me kicked off the ski trip because I gave her ten bucks to buy some food. And she bought scissors. Fucking scissors. And apparently I'm not stable enough to have scissors and they think I'll fucking stab someone with them. And she gave me back $2.48 in change. The scissors were from the fucking dollar store. They couldn't have been that expensive. Next time she sits on my lap in math class I'm gonna call her a pick-pocket.
Dude #2: Okay, great story. Now shut the fuck up. I missed half the fucking dialogue of Cloverfield.
West Edmonton Mall
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Trying to watch Cloverfield
Moviegoer: I thought Carla didn't have a boyfriend because she got frumpy.
Landmark Theater
Los Angeles, California
Mother to four-year-old in doctor's waiting room: Come on, Sam*, we're next.
Sam: Are we seeing the doctor?
Mother: Yup.
Sam: (pause) Well, okay. As long as he doesn't look at my penis.
Hurstbridge Medical Center
Hurstbridge
Australia
Man to date: Kim Jong-il is one. Your stepfather is another.
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Joy
Girl #1: Oh my god, Jen* is such a skank!
Girl #2: Yeah, but if I was that good-looking I'd be a slut too!
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kat
Galveston woman: I swear, when I first met Sheila 20 years ago she looked middle-aged. She still looks middle-aged.
Guest from California: Maybe she discovered the fountain of middle age.
Galveston, Texas
Overheard by: Chas
Middle school guy #1: Dude, look at Raymond and tell me he doesn't look like my dad's girlfriend.
Middle school guy #2: What? No way!
Middle school guy #1: It's true. She looks just like Raymond, except she has a woman's body.
Coal Hill, Arkansas
Teacher: I’m leaving for a few minutes. Ted*, you’re in charge.
Ted*: Alright, everyone get naked.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
