Names

Teacher: I’m leaving for a few minutes. Ted*, you’re in charge.
Ted*: Alright, everyone get naked.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Pilot over loudspeaker: It’s 40 degrees outside and sunny, and we will be landing shortly. Welcome to… Where are we? Oh. Philadelphia! Welcome to Philadelphia!

Flight over Pennsylvania

Overheard by: And he’s flying this plane?

Student #1: I went to Mankato State.
Student #2, also a TA: There’s a state called Mankato?!

University of Minnesota, Minnesota

Black student to white teacher: So we’re going to Sarasota to visit a college up there. Do you know the easiest way to get there?
White teacher: Sure! You can take I-75 straight up, and if you want to stop for something to eat, there’s Cracker Barrel all over the place.
Black student: Cracker Barrel? Umm, no, I don’t think so…

Design and Architecture High School
Miami, Florida

Big sister: Look sis! This coat says it was made in Macedonia.
Little sister: Isn’t that a nut?

Macy’s at Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York

Four-year old practising just before the pageant: Hark the herald, angels sing, glory to the New York king!

Church Christmas Pageant
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: thought NY was a Fifedom

Girl #1: Nobody ever sits on it and I don’t blame them.
Girl #2: You call it the sex couch, that’s why.
Girl #1: I Febreze it!
Girl #2: And then you say that!

Brighton, Massachusetts

Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is “Salad tosser”?

Arby’s Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia

Dude: Hey I’m Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I’m Lauren*. We’ve met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other’s name since we’re talking about anal.

The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: just here for the show

Guy on phone: I don’t vote for people who put their name in quotation marks on the ballot… Well, yeah, if it was ‘Killer,’ then I’d definitely vote for him.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/06/but-would-you-vote-for-pokey.html

Overheard by: