Names

Mother to four-year-old in doctor's waiting room: Come on, Sam*, we're next.
Sam: Are we seeing the doctor?
Mother: Yup.
Sam: (pause) Well, okay. As long as he doesn't look at my penis.

Hurstbridge Medical Center
Hurstbridge
Australia

Man to date: Kim Jong-il is one. Your stepfather is another.

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Joy

Girl #1: Jane*, I've gotten worse…
Girl #2: At what?
Girl #1: At hating Jews.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Laughing hysterically

Girl #1: Oh my god, Jen* is such a skank!
Girl #2: Yeah, but if I was that good-looking I'd be a slut too!

Upper Hutt
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kat

Galveston woman: I swear, when I first met Sheila 20 years ago she looked middle-aged. She still looks middle-aged.
Guest from California: Maybe she discovered the fountain of middle age.

Galveston, Texas

Overheard by: Chas

Middle school guy #1: Dude, look at Raymond and tell me he doesn't look like my dad's girlfriend.
Middle school guy #2: What? No way!
Middle school guy #1: It's true. She looks just like Raymond, except she has a woman's body.

Coal Hill, Arkansas

Teacher: I’m leaving for a few minutes. Ted*, you’re in charge.
Ted*: Alright, everyone get naked.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Pilot over loudspeaker: It’s 40 degrees outside and sunny, and we will be landing shortly. Welcome to… Where are we? Oh. Philadelphia! Welcome to Philadelphia!

Flight over Pennsylvania

Overheard by: And he’s flying this plane?

Student #1: I went to Mankato State.
Student #2, also a TA: There’s a state called Mankato?!

University of Minnesota, Minnesota

Black student to white teacher: So we’re going to Sarasota to visit a college up there. Do you know the easiest way to get there?
White teacher: Sure! You can take I-75 straight up, and if you want to stop for something to eat, there’s Cracker Barrel all over the place.
Black student: Cracker Barrel? Umm, no, I don’t think so…

Design and Architecture High School
Miami, Florida