Train

Six‐year‐old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm‐hmm?
Six‐year‐old girl: Was that paradise?

Train
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there

Guy with sunglasses on cell: So I went back to the apartment today and he was passed out again! (pause) Yeah, dude, I think he smoked a bowl on my bed and then seized a few times…

B Train
Boston, Massachusetts

Younger heavy metal guy with older coworkers: I never find the right size of long johns in the winter, so I buy women’s tights instead. (older coworkers look at him in shock) What? I was kidding! Morning humor, you know.
Macho guy sitting behind: Yeah, women’s tights make your junk look bigger!

Commuter Train
Stockholm
Sweden

Overheard by: strictly boxers.

Boy: Have you seen Rainman?
Friend: Nah.
Boy: Ohmigod, I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman! I mean I haven’t seen Rainmanbut I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman!

Newcastle‐Sydney Train
Australia

Thuggish teen to friends: Yeah, I’m going antiquing this weekend. For at least an hour.

Orange Line Train
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna

Tourist lady, as train approaches the end of the line: So how are they going to turn this train around?
Daughter: They don’t have to. It can go in either direction.
Tourist lady: Well, are they at least going to turn the seats around?

Subway
Washington, DC

Guy #1: I woke up in her bed without any pants.
Guy #2: What happened?
Guy #1: I think we had sex.
Guy #2: You don’t know?
Guy #1: I cant exactly remember. Luckily neither can she. She’d kill me if she knew.

Train
Sydney, Australia

Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I’m bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.

Yellow Train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: entertained next to them

50‐something man to 50‐something woman: You are not homeless. Homeless people don’t own dinnerware!

BART Train
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Morpheus

Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren’t really grabbing her boobs. That’s just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.

Vendôme Métro
Montréal
Canadia