Train conductor: Thank you for traveling on this 3:30 service to Southern Cross. If you need to use the toilet, they are located at the end of each carriage for your convenience. Please remember to both close and lock the door, which will save you from embarrassment and other passengers from blindness.
Train Service to Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Meg
Little boy: This is boring!
Mom: You know what? Life is boring if you make it that way.
Katonah Train Station
New York City, New York
Overheard by: lisa
Young woman, after graphic conversation about sex and drugs: Do you ever think, while we’re talking: “Wow, the people on the train are so lucky to get to listen to us on their morning commute!”?
Older woman: Oh my god, all the time.
Train
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: catherine
Freshman theater student: So we were in acting class and we did this exercise where we had to portray mythological creatures, and afterwards when we were telling the class what we were, this one kid said: “I was Jesus!”
MBTA
Boston, Massachusetts
Drunk guy on cell: Dad, I can’t talk right now, I’m surrounded by FBI agents, but I’ve got your $100, your beer, and your marijuana. Oh, and your toilet paper. [Pause.] No, dad, FBI agents. [Pause.] I don’t know, they’re all beautiful women.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy on train: It’s a stone edifice! You can’t wear a t-shirt in a stone edifice!
Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Spazzy
Teen girl on cell: I saw this guy with a man tramp stamp… A mamp stamp.
Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sadie
Middle-aged guy: Yeah, I’ve been in a couple of accidents before. One time this lady rear-ended me out of nowhere.
Middle-aged woman: Did you sue her?
Middle-aged guy: Of course I did. How do you think we paid for in-vitro?
Newark Airtrain, New Jersey
Old nag, as train breaks down: Why’d we stop? What’s wrong?
Fellow commuter: We hit a buffalo.
Old nag: Really?!
Fellow commuter: Yes.
Worcester/Framingham Line to Boston, Massachusetts
