Young drunk guy: …but everything will be better once I break his jaw.
Friend: Yeah, word.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: bex
Drunk girl to friends: Dave and I were talking about which Muppet is hottest. I said the Count. He says Cookie Monster.
Dave: The Count would count every thrust! One… Hahaha… Two… Hahaha…
Drunk girl: But the Cookie Monster would get crumbs in the bed!
Downtown Grill and Brewery
Knoxville, Tennessee
Girl in stall (yelling on cell): Oh, my god. Do you really have herpes? That's contagious, right? Should I get tested?
(flush of toilet)
Friend's voice on speakerphone: Am I on speakerphone in the bathroom?
Girl in stall: Yeah, I'm just peeing. So should I get tested?
Friend: I'm not talking about this on speakerphone.
Girl in stall: Okay, it's off… Oh, so you can only get herpes through sex?
Public Bathroom
Kent State University, Ohio
Overheard by: Laureen
Middle-aged woman to friend, exiting Forever 21: Well, that was a foray into a subculture we're not familiar with.
Kenwood Mall
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Lisa
Emo girl to emo friend: They have a whole Harry Potter section…I love the world!
Borders
Manalapan, New Jersey
Girl suit (walking by a fancy art studio pointing at the concrete): Oh my god! That's totally where Ashley peed on Saturday night!
Friend: We didn't even walk down this street!
Girl suit: Yes we did! Because that's the trash can you were passed out over, this is the corner where I ditched you.
7th & J
San Diego, California
Black girl to girlfriend: He's young, like 24, 25. And get this: I was like, “So, what else do you do?” and he goes “I make beats.” I said, “Of course you do.”
Subway
New York City, New York
Overheard by: EL
Freakishly tall chick: Could you imagine a primordial dwarf in my family? The kid would kill me as soon as they could wield a weapon of some kind, because I'd laugh at them so much.
Friend: Or he'd turn the hatred outwards, and be a serial killer. Oh man, could you imagine, a primordial dwarf serial killer?
Freakishly tall chick: That would be awesome.
Aurora, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Girl #1: He's kind of ugly.
Girl #2: He kind of reminds me of a marionette because his cheeks are shiny and puffed up all the time.
Black Market Vintage Clothing
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: kj
