Student: Are breasts on the exam?
Professor: No, no, they’re not. Not because I don’t like breasts… I do… They’re just not on the exam.
Biology 102, Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Marina
Student: Are breasts on the exam?
Professor: No, no, they’re not. Not because I don’t like breasts… I do… They’re just not on the exam.
Biology 102, Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Marina
Girl #1: The school paper couldn’t use that picture.
Girl #2: Why not?
Girl #1: They said there were too many people in it.
Girl #2: We were in China!
Rider University
Lawrenceville, New Jersey
Professor: What is the Magic Marker-ness of the Magic Marker?
Monmouth University
New Jersey
Crazy college student: Can you take the rubber ducky? I can’t bring him into the cafeteria. There’s no duck food in there.
Blanton Hall, Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Rubber Ducks don’t eat
Teen girl #1: When you drink a lot of water your piss get really clear.
Teen girl #2: Nuh-uh! I drink water all the time and my piss is still pink.
Teaneck High School
Teaneck, New Jersey
Overheard by: southernbelle
Bimbette #1: Let me turn on the flash — it’s dark in here.
Bimbette #2, after picture: Oh my god, that was so bright! That was like when the cop shined the flashlight in my eyes at my DUI.
Bimbette #3: Could he see your brain?
Movie theater
Ridgefield Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Big J
Teen: So, there is this shirt that says ‘Florida: Where America goes to die.’
Friend: I wouldn’t want to move to Florida when I get old — it’s too hot. Especially in August.
Teen: But that’s only one month out of 11.
New Jersey
Overheard by: Miss Fabulous
Chick: I was just in the bathroom trying to throw up, and I just can’t do it! I just gag. A penis can make me throw up, but my own two fingers cant… I hate giving blowjobs.
Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: BTON
Teen: I used to think I was fat, but then I realized I wouldn’t have had sex with five guys if I was fat. No one wants to have sex with a fat girl.
Wendy’s
New Jersey
Overheard by: BTON
Clerk: Ninety-five percent of all guys are jerks; the other 10 percent are okay.
Dunkin’ Donuts
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Chris
