Lady, bumping into female cop in crowded elevator: Oh! Excuse me.
Female cop: Hey, if my boobs don’t getcha, my ass will.

Justice Center
El Paso County, Colorado

20‐something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor‐boated me.

Canisius College
Buffalo, New York

Bed, Bath and Beyoobies Stives to Be Inclusive

Crazy black guy, very loudly to himself: That’s the factory where they make gay people, but I don’t care, because that’s also where they make boobies!

Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: tom

Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren’t really grabbing her boobs. That’s just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.

Vendôme Métro

Dude: I wish all guys had boobs.
Girl: What?!
Dude: It’s so much more appropriate to grope a guy than a girl!

New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

Girl on birth control: I think my boobs grew!
Friend, grabbing her boob: Really?!
Girl’s boyfriend, slapping friend’s hand away: Hey, hey, too long!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Chick: … So she said, ‘Hey, look over here,’ and then she opened her gown and, like, all I saw were these weird big boobs…

Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: widget

Girl: Booze!
Masculine gay dude: Fuck, yeah. I just finally finished my antibiotics. I’m gonna go fall off a stripper stage into some tits or somethin’.
Straight friend: Uhhh.


Boy: There are cleavages on the top of page 221.

High School
San Diego, California

Flat‐chested girl (grabbing box of energy bars): Here, get some of these for tomorrow.
Guy: I don’t know. Um… it says here that they’re for girls.
Flat‐chested girl: Yeah, let’s get them.
Guy: But… Huh, well, haha, they’re not going to make me grow tits, are they?
Flat‐chested girl, staring: Hasn’t worked for me.
Guy (putting box in carriage): Hm‐mmm.

Colorado Springs, Colorado