Little girl in bathroom stall with mother: Doody! It’s fun to say “doody” in the bathroom! Say “doody,” mom!
Whole Foods
West Orange, New Jersey
Overheard by: I almost said it myself.
Little girl in bathroom stall with mother: Doody! It’s fun to say “doody” in the bathroom! Say “doody,” mom!
Whole Foods
West Orange, New Jersey
Overheard by: I almost said it myself.
Three-year-old boy, pulling action figure out of a box of toys, whispering: I love you, He-Man. (louder) I love you, He-Man! (at the top of his little lungs) I love you, He-Man!
Monarc Thrift Shop
Red Bank, New Jersey
Overheard by: klutch
Girl to fourteen classmates: I do *everything* in the bathroom!
The Melting Pot
New Jersey
Overheard by: supersecret!
Guy: So I fell asleep in bio today and when I woke up this bitch was watching me.
Girl: Good story.
Guy: And then I sneezed.
Girl: [Laughs.] Wait, that was actually part of your story?
Hoboken, New Jersey
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.
Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey
Overheard by: Philly Joe
Middle school student: It’s not my fault he got hit with the G-string…
Toms River
New Jersey
Overheard by: the sub
Blonde #1: I saw a church sign the other day that said “Let Jesus be a part of your rainbow.” Isn’t that, like, gay?
Blonde #2: Maybe you’re supposed to think about Jesus when you’re having gay sex.
Blonde #1: Ohhh… I get it now.
Piscataway, New Jersey
Overheard by: …. I don’t think anyone gets it.
Guy: My cousin got me this Jesus bracelet in like Cuba or something. It was only a dollar!
Jewish girl: Jesus shouldn’t have a price!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: oh, jesus
Middle-aged guy: Yeah, I’ve been in a couple of accidents before. One time this lady rear-ended me out of nowhere.
Middle-aged woman: Did you sue her?
Middle-aged guy: Of course I did. How do you think we paid for in-vitro?
Newark Airtrain, New Jersey
Girl #1: At least he didn’t say what JD said to me the other night. He said I was boring in the bedroom because I didn’t try new things.
Girl #2: Oh my god!
Girl #1: Yeah and I told him, well how am I supposed to know what to do? I was a virgin before you. Well, not literally a virgin, but close enough!
Girl #2: So what are you going to do?
Girl #1: Well, I told him that when we go on vacation, we can have a threesome. But it has to be someone I’ll never see again.
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: Slutgers Girl
