New Jersey

Teen son: I really want to read a book, I don't know why.
Mother: No, it's such a waste of money.

Target
Voorhees, New Jersey

Overheard by: deno

Guy: So, you can talk about stabbing puppies but I can’t talk about punting babies? That doesn’t seem right.
Girl: That’s exactly right.

Rutgers Stadium, New Jersey

England Expects No Less

Little girl in bathroom stall with mother: Doody! It’s fun to say “doody” in the bathroom! Say “doody,” mom!

Whole Foods
West Orange, New Jersey

Overheard by: I almost said it myself.

Three-year-old boy, pulling action figure out of a box of toys, whispering: I love you, He-Man. (louder) I love you, He-Man! (at the top of his little lungs) I love you, He-Man!

Monarc Thrift Shop
Red Bank, New Jersey

Overheard by: klutch

Girl to fourteen classmates: I do *everything* in the bathroom!

The Melting Pot
New Jersey

Overheard by: supersecret!

Guy: So I fell asleep in bio today and when I woke up this bitch was watching me.
Girl: Good story.
Guy: And then I sneezed.
Girl: [Laughs.] Wait, that was actually part of your story?

Hoboken, New Jersey

Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.

Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey

Overheard by: Philly Joe

Middle school student: It’s not my fault he got hit with the G-string…

Toms River
New Jersey

Overheard by: the sub

Blonde #1: I saw a church sign the other day that said “Let Jesus be a part of your rainbow.” Isn’t that, like, gay?
Blonde #2: Maybe you’re supposed to think about Jesus when you’re having gay sex.
Blonde #1: Ohhh… I get it now.

Piscataway, New Jersey

Overheard by: …. I don’t think anyone gets it.

Guy: My cousin got me this Jesus bracelet in like Cuba or something. It was only a dollar!
Jewish girl: Jesus shouldn’t have a price!

Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: oh, jesus