Health teacher: Man, you girls these days! Wanting to have all the wrong kinds of fun… You know what, if a vagina was used by 15 different people, that vagina would probably be as wide as this door!
McNair Academic High School
Jersey City, New Jersey
Liberal student, passing photo of cute baby: Aw… [realizing it’s an ad for campus pro-life group] … Ugh.
Princeton University
New Jersey
Man on cell: I wouldn’t worry about her though, she’s dead.
Newark airport
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: catherine
College girl: Remember that girl who admitted to stealing my clothes from the laundry room?
Friend: Yeah?
College girl: Well, she finally gave me my clothes back at the end of the semester before she mysteriously disappeared. I was like going through them and I found not just my clothes, but like other people’s clothes too. Not just girls either. I found tighty-whities and shit. But the weirdest part was at the bottom of the basket. There was a plastic bag of jewelry ranging from like cheapo rhinestone shit to like semiprecious stones, a tv remote with no batteries, a crazy-straw, some masking tape, an empty lipstick tube thing, and a handful of Canadian money.
Newark, New Jersey
Guy in crowd evacuated from theater due to fire alarm: This is all a marketing trick… Just watch — any minute now one of those fire trucks is going to transform!
Transformers showing, AMC Theatre
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: JoBell
Dunkin’ Donuts chick: All guys are jerks.
Customer: Aw, come on — I’m a nice guy.
Dunkin’ Donuts chick: Well, I haven’t tried you yet.
Newark, New Jersey
60-ish lady: If it weren’t for Dancing with the Stars, I don’t know what we’d be watching!
Whole Foods
Ridgewood, New Jersey
Blonde: You know the bases? If third base is sex, then what is a home run?
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: my friends are really dumb sometimes…
Professor: Has anyone ever eaten anything that made them sick, and now they have an aversion to it? [A few students reply.] Yeah, I think it happens to everyone… Like for me, it’s those small, white powdered doughnuts. I just can’t eat them anymore — they taste furry now, and the thought of something furry in my mouth makes me gag. [Pause.] I think I’ve said too much.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: well, now I’m jsut curious…
Teacher: It should be written in the dress code, ‘Girls with bouncy boobs need to cover them up.’ Seriously! These girls are one bounce away from getting tips!
Jackson Memorial High School
New Jersey
Overheard by: Diana
