Guy: Do you spit or swallow?
Preppy girl: I don’t know. I just chew.
Florida
Gucci girl to friends: God! I’m so tired of my Nazi book group! (silence) I mean, they don’t want cookies, they don’t want to socialize, it’s just like, book book book you may not mention anything besides the book!
Glencoe, Illinois
Overheard by: I was worried for a minute
Dumb girl: So what’s the difference between when the guy hits the ball and someone catches it and when someone hits the ball and no one catches it?
Boy: Absolutely nothing.
PETCO Park
San Diego, California
Guy walking opposite traffic on a one-way street: If I get hit by another car my mom will be pissed.
Clemson, South Carolina
Girl: I thought dinosaurs were a fairy tale.
Junior High Science Class
El Paso, Texas
Fat American female tourist to new best friend: If ya didn’t like the Vatican, you’re gonna hate the Louvre!
6th Floor, Hilton Arc de Triumph
Paris
France
Overheard by: Pope Andrew I
Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there’s people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?
Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: How did it get there?
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.
Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey
Overheard by: Philly Joe
Chick: So, they haven’t actually had a mayor since the last one had to be euthanized…
Honors Lounge, Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
American chick #1: Ohmigod! Look at those white cows! I’ve never seen cows like that before!
American chick #2: Maybe they’re albino… Or it could be a special British type of cow.
Guy sitting behind them: … Those are sheep.
Bus, Southern England
Overheard by: pretends to be Canadian
