High school physics teacher: You see, everything has a gravitational force, so everything is attracted to everything else. For example, I am attracted to this door. This… is a really… nice door. And this table — this is a really, really nice table… But I really like the door.
Massachusetts
Guy: Yeah, I just got back from church.
Girl: Oh, really? So, are you going to church to find patients or to find a girl?
Guy: Well, I was thinking more for the religious part.
Girl: Oh, I didn’t think about it that way.
Millstadt, Illinois
Overheard by: Robbie
Teen cheerleader: I think hobos are hot.
Friend: Why?
Teen cheerleader: I don’t know. There’s just something sexy about trains, I guess.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/03/and_people_who_go_months_witho.html
Overheard by:
Sororitard #1: Oh, genius, I spelled ‘cheese’ wrong.
Sororitard #2: That’s nothing. Sometimes I spell my own name wrong!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: twombly
[Teacher rises from desk and moves to white board while carrying sheet of paper.]
Student: What are you doing? [Teacher begins writing on white board.] What are you doing?!
Teacher: I’m writing down your homework!
Student: Oh, I thought you were going to hurt us.
Teacher: I’m just holding a piece of paper!
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Giggling student
Chick on cell: Luckily, I have pink nails to protect us from future druggings.
Shady Grove bar
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
Hipster: I mean, come on, get with it. This is the ’90s, man.
Friend: … I don’t think it is.
Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Boy #1 to girl as he throws wad of paper: Hey, heads up!
Boy #2: Whoa! She actually caught it!
Girl, shooting proud look at them: Yeah! Duh — I’m not illiterate.
Chemistry class
Friendswood, Texas
Dude: So, you’re from Austria, huh?
Austrian foreign student: Yes.
Dude: So, like, kangaroos and shit?
Austrian foreign student: No, that’s Australia. Austria’s in Europe.
Dude: Oh, like Sound of Music?
Austrian foreign student: Yes.
Dude: Like Lederhosen! Fahrvergnügen! Schwarzenegger!
Austrian foreign student: Yes.
Dude: So, do you believe in Hitler? [Austrian walks off.]
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl #1: That library isn’t much help at all.
Girl #2: Yeah, I buy my own books. Libraries are only good for poor people that want to read.
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Courtney
