College student #1: Look, look, it's Martin Luther King!
College student #2: …that's Eddie Murphy.
Madame Tussaud's
Las Vegas, Nevada
College student #1: Look, look, it's Martin Luther King!
College student #2: …that's Eddie Murphy.
Madame Tussaud's
Las Vegas, Nevada
Customer: Excuse me, why is your “chocolate mud pie” the only dessert on the menu not labeled “vegetarian”?
Waitress: That's because it has cream in it.
Customer: Your other desserts have cream in them and are labeled “vegetarian”!
Waitress: Yeah well, the cream in the chocolate mud pie is made from meat.
London
England
Long Island girl being interviewed: …my physical goals, well, I want to keep going to the gym, keep eating healthy, not smoking. My personal goals, one is that I really want to travel. Like this weekend I'm going to New Jersey for a wedding.
Starbucks
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Queens girl
Southern stewardess: In case of a water landing occurring in between Tucson and Las Vegas… (pause) If you are traveling with a spouse or ex-wife be sure to put on your own oxygen mask first so that you have an excuse to leave them on their own.
(later)
Southern stewardess: There are six bathrooms on this Boeing 747, feel free to use any of them if you don't like my jokes. (pause) Oh, and if you have any questions don't ask me, I'm new here.
Flight 280
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: kat
Guy about stripper girlfriend: I asked her to get STD tested, but she said she was almost done with her chlamydia medication, so it's all good.
Frisco, Texas
Overheard by: C.D.
Girl looking at a picture of someone milking a cow: Oh my god, look at the size of the testicles on this cow!
Embarrassed friend: Um, that's its udder.
Ohio State University
