Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Sara
Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Sara
Girl, nodding to human mess across the way: Is that girl burning holes into a photograph with a cigarette?
Guy: That is frighteningly erotic.
University of South Florida
Man buying condoms, to wife: I don’t need any lubricant with you, honey!
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Girl #1: I hallucinated that you and my boyfriend had sex in the spirit world! I think I hallucinated I was using an umbrella in the shower this morning.
Girl #2: Uh. No… Sorry, I found one in our shower.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Loud girl: And my mother said to me, “Well, I guess you’re an adult now, since you have adult sex.” And I was like, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” and she was like, “I opened your cupboard.” and I was thinking, “Oh shit!” because I’ve got a lot of shit in there. I’ve got porn, I’ve got a vibrator, a cock ring. I’ve got things she doesn’t even know what to call them!
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Hipster guy: I can’t tell if I’m horny or it’s just my sinus infection again…
UBC
Canadia
Girl #1: I’m having the worst day today.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s a good thing I had sex yesterday. Otherwise, today would just be hell.
Seattle, Washington
Little boy: How ’bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!
St. Joseph, Michigan
20‐something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor‐boated me.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
Gay son: I need a sugar daddy.
Mother: You and me both.
Gay son: But I have a booty.
Mother, after long pause, and looking out the window: I have weeds where I once had grass…
Murrieta, California
Overheard by: I hope I don’t become my mother
