Train conductor: Thank you for traveling on this 3:30 service to Southern Cross. If you need to use the toilet, they are located at the end of each carriage for your convenience. Please remember to both close and lock the door, which will save you from embarrassment and other passengers from blindness.
Train Service to Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Meg
Girl to friends: I’m 31 years old, for Christ’s sake. My mom doesn’t get it. I’m too fucking old to get excited about some guy that pisses himself, calls me up and acts like it’s a fucking achievement.
Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Dude #1: Man, I got so drunk on Saturday.
Dude #2: Did you pee your pants again?
Dude #1: No. [Dude #2 stares at him.] … Yes.
Dude #2: What’s wrong with you?
Dude #1: I don’t know.
Lake View Terrace, California
Little boy #1: [Makes peeing sound, pretends to pee.]Little boy #2: That’s nothing! Feel the wrath of my penis!!
Macy’s in Fashion Square Mall
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Stephanie
Girl #1: Oh my god, I just peed for, like, a hundred years.
Girl #2: Do you ever get scared that the toilet bowl will fill up and the water will touch your bum?
Girl #1: Yes.
Girl #2: Oh my god, me too.
Ladies’ room, Fenway-area bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Loud hobo with wet pant leg: I pissed my pants! I got to get home to my wife to show her I pissed my pants! I got to teach my kids how not to piss their pants! I can’t believe I pissed my pants!
Washington, DC
Chick: Oh my god, Marissa! I just met a guy who’s looking for a girl to pee on him.
Marissa: I would totally do that!
Chick: I know! That’s why I told you.
Marissa: Let’s go find him!
Nightlight Lounge
Bellingham, Washington
Teen girl #1: When you drink a lot of water your piss get really clear.
Teen girl #2: Nuh-uh! I drink water all the time and my piss is still pink.
Teaneck High School
Teaneck, New Jersey
Overheard by: southernbelle
Woman to herself: I love the smell of the subway!
Passerby: You know it’s primarily piss, right?
Consolação subway
São Paulo
Brazil
Drunken 50-year-old to his penis: Come on! Pee! Pee until you can’t pee no more, bitch.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hiding Roommate
