Voice #1: I’m in the wrong bathroom!
Voice #2: I’m in the wrong bathroom, too!


Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it’s a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va‐j‑j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That’s only for guys. And in the Amazon!

Redding, California

Four‐year‐old boy: But Mommy, I don’t need gravity! I just had to pee!

New Jersey

Tough guy at urinal: So you live around here?
Tough guy at different urinal: Nope, just pee here.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Cameron

Receptionist to executive assistant: …so in conclusion, I got peed on…by a taxi driver…who I dated.

Overheard by: Ian

Little girl pointing to handicapped sink: Mommy, do you know what that’s for?
Mom: It’s a sink for people in wheelchairs, honey.
Little girl: No! It’s where boys pee!

Bathroom, JCPenney’s
Forest Park, Georgia

Overheard by: Kelly

Volunteer director to group of teenage volunteers: Now, ya gotta be careful or the tractor tires will catch on fire.
Teenage volunteers: (incredulous laughter)
Volunteer director: No, seriously! Last year they caught on fire and I totally had to pee on them!

Sonoma County, California

Overheard by: where was I last year?!

Mother in bathroom stall with four‐year‐old son: No, no, you’re peeing on mommy. Aim lower! Aim lower!

Augusta, Georgia

Five‐year boy in front of a door: (frantically) Which one? I have to go!
Exasperated mother: The men’s room.
Little boy: Which one?!
Mother: That one (points) and that’s why you need to learn to read.

Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina

Enraged Frenchman to woman and son who is discreetly peeing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bathroom, this is a business! (starts walking away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daughter sitting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the mountains? (to himself, walking away) Oh my god! I don’t believe this!