Health & Hygiene

Teacher, handing out candy to class: They’re really sweet.
Student #1: And they make the roof of your mouth bleed.
Student #2: That’s the best part.

High School
Calgary, Alberta

20‐something girl: So I had to go to the emergency room because I thought I had a baby.
Shocked co‐worker: What?! What was it?
20‐something girl: Just my period. But it was a bad one.

Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: don’t ditch health class

Skinny sorostitute: Every time I see him he just makes me want to throw up.

Arizona State University

Overheard by: Lindsay

Girl #1: I got a lot of color without being in the sun very much; just in the car.
Girl #2: I’m so jealous!
Girl #1: Well, I also went to the tanning salon…

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Guy with sunglasses on cell: So I went back to the apartment today and he was passed out again! (pause) Yeah, dude, I think he smoked a bowl on my bed and then seized a few times…

B Train
Boston, Massachusetts

Woman: I felt so bad. I was like, “it’s okay, you can leave your pool cue there, come dance with me.“
Friend: And then you left him in the middle of the dance floor.
Woman: I didn’t know he was blind!
Friend: So you blew him?
Woman: Did I?

Hot Springs, Idaho

Bro: Yeah, I remember the first time I saw someone projectile‐vomit.

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Hipster guy: I can’t tell if I’m horny or it’s just my sinus infection again…


Old man: I recently had surgery. What was it I had removed? Something that starts with a ‘P’…
Old lady: Was it your pancreas?
Old man: No… It wasn’t my penis, either, because I definitely still have that.

L.L. Bean Outlet
Wareham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Amanda

Guy #1: What is that?
Guy #2, holding sunscreen: Oh, it’s sport sunscreen. My mom made bring it.
Guy #3: Dude. Why do you have so many ointments?
Guy #2: The back of my legs get burnt.
Guy #1: You moisturize?

Canada’s Wonderland
Vaughan, Ontario

Overheard by: Shan