I Didn’t Drop the Other One on the Floor

Dude, approaching table of people: Excuse me? Hi, I noticed you put your salad in the microwave, and I was just wondering… Why?
Asian guy: Why not?
Dude: Well, it’s just… you had two… And you didn’t put the other one in… I have to know!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/02/monday-madness.html

Overheard by: a’da

Posted on February 10, 2020
Overheard at Cornell, Questions, Strangers

So I’m Almost Always Sore, N-4

Bingo number caller: I pick up lots of chicks, G-56. But when I don’t, I masturbate, B-8.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/saturdays-are-pretty-dope.html

Overheard by: bingo player

Posted on October 4, 2019
Coworkers, Masturbation, Overheard at Cornell

Really? Show Me.

Sorority girl #1: She’s from Missouri.
Sorority girl #2: Missouri… Is it even civilized there?

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: annoyedbutamusedtesttaker

Posted on September 1, 2019
Overheard at Cornell, Questions, Sorority types

I Had to Defer a Year

Guy: The only reason I remember the day I got accepted to Cornell is because it’s the only time I ever walked in on my parents having sex.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/saturnalia.html

Overheard by: doug

Posted on June 8, 2019
Memory lane, Overheard at Cornell, Students

When They Get the Messages, Her Parents Will Be Happy

Girl leaving message on cell: … Anyway, some good news: I’m not pregnant! Yup! You should be shocked, right? Okay, talk to you later.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: anonymous

Posted on April 17, 2018
Gossip, On the phone, Overheard at Cornell

Enschuldegung, No Habla Escargot

Student #1: I think I want to go to Asia after college.
Student #2: Why?
Student #1: Because I really want to improve my Spanish, and the best way to do that is to live in the country.
Student #2: That’s a good idea.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/long-overdue-update-part-3-last.html

Overheard by: paralyzedindisbelief

Posted on April 2, 2018
Language barrier, Overheard at Cornell, Students

Who Are You?

Drunk girl #1: I don’t know how much I liked that wine.
Drunk girl #2: Me either. It was kind of too sweet.
Drunk girl #3: Guys, I just swallowed a dime.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/it-is-still-tuesday-in-hawaii.html

Overheard by: tan

Posted on March 12, 2018
Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Overheard at Cornell

The Key to Fame Is Setting Yourself Apart

Guy on cell: Oh, so you’re the one who likes horseshoe crabs!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/sundays-suck.html

Overheard by: patricia

Posted on October 3, 2017
Gossip, On the phone, Overheard at Cornell

Then You’ll Hate Gay-Porn Method Acting

Chick: I don’t like processes… and anal things.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/more-more-more.html

Overheard by: twombly

Posted on April 26, 2017
Chicks, Overheard at Cornell, Philosophy

We Can Dispense with Talking

Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you ‘Baby’?
Frat boy #2: No… You’ve bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying — we’re experienced.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html

Overheard by: the ear

Posted on September 22, 2016
Backdoor, Frat boy types, Overheard at Cornell

Overheard at Cornell