Drunk guy: It’s my birthday and I wanna hear some boobs clapping!
Davis, California
Overheard by: Liz
Drunk guy: It’s my birthday and I wanna hear some boobs clapping!
Davis, California
Overheard by: Liz
Half-drunk tourist girl: You’re lying! Nobody has all that happen in their life!
Half-drunk guy with NY accent: I’m from Brooklyn! We all live unbelievable lives!
Parker House Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: annikee
Guy, mournfully: And then I go in and Colin is sitting there, taking shots of vodka by himself, in that pink dress…
Girl, nonplussed: Again?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: archie
Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: So, did you guys end up getting anywhere?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: No, I was thirteen!
Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: Yeah, but you didn’t do anything? Like, not even touch his dick?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: I don’t know, I was drunk!
Vincennes, Indiana
Overheard by: 202 Tavern Girl
Girl: So I asked him: “When are you going to come back for a reunion? I miss you!” and he was like: “I miss you so much I’ve had to replace you with alcohol.” That’s like, the biggest, best compliment ever! They should make a Hallmark card that says that.
West Lafayette, Indianapolis
Overheard by: Kolja
Guy #1: So he lit the shot on fire and when he went to take it, part of it got on his face and instead of swallowing, he spat it everywhere and it all caught on fire.
Guy #2: Yeah, I bet he got laid that night, though.
Girl: Where, in the burn unit?
Houston, Texas
Student: Yeah… I don’t really take advice from a kid wearing a winter hat indoors, drinking white grape juice out of a measuring cup.
SUNY Cortland
Cortland, New York
Balding yuppie guy on cell: All things being equal, I would like to drink.
(pause)
Balding yuppie guy on cell: Oh, so you guys are drinking in the convent?
Saxby’s Coffee
Georgetown, Washington, DC
College girl to friend: He’s a really scary driver. He’ll go fifty on gravel roads. I mean, I go fifty on gravel roads, but only if I’m really, really drunk.
El Rancho
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
Guy: You know, I’m usually anti-slavery… Except when I drink, then I’m all for it.
Bar
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
